Sunday, November 30, 2008

Chair obsessed.


For the past three nights I have been dreaming about chairs. On Black Friday, instead of going to Best Buy and Radio Shack for super sales, I hit up literally fourteen furniture stores (mostly resale). I have been constantly scouring E-Bay and Craigslist using any combo of the following: danish, danish modern, mid century, vintage, chair, armchair, chaise.

I found two chairs at Uhuru. Two hours and much sweat later, we returned them (for store credit only - boo!) b/c we couldn't get them up the stairs.

Then - eureka! After hitting refresh, refresh, refresh, a new chair appears on Craigslist! And it's awesome! And I call... and the woman says she'll email me the measurements! And all night I dream about the perfect chair! I call all my friends! And the next morning it is SOLD - NOT TO ME! Whaaaa?

But, the danish modern gods were looking out for me because some poor sap's wife din't like how the amazing chair had a little rock to it. So I shlepped in the rain to Hatboro PA and look what I have now:

a most amazing 1963 Danish modern chair in aqua. Love love love.

I may be super particular and annoying, but hey - it's working for me!

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Allure of Dark Nail Polish



Last year, I was late catching onto the trend of dark nail polish. I didn’t realize that I liked it so much until I had a manicure done in about March, at the tail end of the dark nail polish season. However, this year’s going to be different! I’ve already spotted a couple of dark nail polish colors that I like – Revlon’s Vixen & OPI’s Paris collection. If dark nails appeal to you too, check out OPI’s website to pick your fave.

Who the hell does Oprah think she is?


I don’t know if you’ve heard, but apparently, Oprah has decided not to do a “Favorite Things” episode in the traditional sense this year. And by “traditional sense”, I mean when Oprah roles out all of this over-the-top free crap & the audience members lose all of their sense & go completely batshit crazy. Oprah has decided not to do her traditional “Favorite Things” episode in an attempt to sympathize with the everyday consumer & instead offer a show that will show audience members & viewers how to make “heartfelt” gifts from scratch that will cost virtually nothing. I just hope that Oprah’s audience members won’t flip out when they discover that this is not the freebie orgy that they were expecting & storm the stage. Even though, I would think that in today’s economy, Oprah’s show provides just what various retailers need: free advertising so that consumers will spend money. So, in lieu of what’s bound to be a disappointment to both the audience members & viewers, I’ve decided to post a real video that I found of her audience members' reaction & this SNL parody again just for ol’ times sake:http://seriously-jess.blogspot.com/2008/09/oprah-ultimate-parody.html

The Classiest Thing To Do These Days… Request your water in a wine glass

I apologize in advance that this is yet another post on my begrudgingly favorite show, Real Housewives of Atlanta. I noticed on two episodes that NeNe requested water in a wine glass. So, I figured, if the Real Housewives of Atlanta are doing this, this has to be a new trend that us less classy folks have yet to pick up on, right? So, from now on, when you’re at a restaurant or just at a social gathering of some kind, be sure “class” it up a bit by requesting water in a wine glass. Last night at the SoUnpretty book club at host AlltheRage’s house, I made sure to put my own twist on this new trend & take it to the next classiest level – I drank my wine from a water glass!

That’s right, bitches. Be prepared to bring your “A” game when you’re drinking around me.

The Return of the “Real” Real Housewives of the O.C.!


Ok, so I know this is my second post on this show, which means that either I need major help or it’s the Apocalypse. Or both. However, I’m very excited that the bleached blond minxes that started this craziness are coming back for another season. And, there’s a new chick that’s joining them! You can tell that Tamra already has her claws out. This fun starts at on Tuesday, November 25th!

The Bravo network should come with an FCC warning


Last Tuesday while I was home sick , I happened to catch a Real Housewives of Atlanta marathon. At the beginning of this season, my impression of the women were that the French phrase “nouveau riche” couldn’t even begin to describe the tacky, brittle, fell-ass-backwards-into-money parasitic personalities of these women. Just in case you’re not familiar with the cast, here’s the rundown:
NeNe – (pronounced knee-knee, not nay-nay for all you haters), reminds you of the disgusting chick from high school that managed to master her bj skills instead of her reading skills & married some old guy that looks like he’s knocking on death’s door & has money. She’s loud & obnoxious & I think that even her kids hate her.

Kim – reminds you of the trashy chick that you went to high school with whom didn’t discriminate. Every time she’s in the studio with producer Dallas Austin, I keep wondering if she’s going to cheat on her boyfriend, Big Papa, with Dallas. And, she’s only 30! Her wig is totally believable.

DeShawn – the wife of NBA player Eric Snow. Definitely fell ass backwards into money by being his high school sweetheart or something. Says things like “elite society” constantly, which just demonstrates just how low class she really is. Really needs to take a long, hard look at herself & then Kobe Bryant’s wife & see what she can do about developing an eating disorder ASAP.

Lisa – seems nice; however, word on the blogs is that she plays innocent & is just as conniving & catty. Needs to style her hair. Ex-wife of Keith Sweat.

Sheree
- looks like a well-toned, cold, mean tranny. Grew up upper class & now is just “class”. She’s trying to design her own two-bit fashion line, was married to some football player who’s a back-up for the back-up.

Anyway, my distaste for these women has grown into somewhat liking these women. Or, at least somewhat liking one character, in particular, NeNe. Now granted, please don’t take this admission along the lines of I would want her to be my new BFF. Hardly. Instead, the rationale is more along the lines of, “If I had to kill all of these women, I would save NeNe for last”. Now, this sudden like/ newfound sympathy probably came about during my sickness & marathon viewing of the show. Maybe Bravo knows that after repeat exposure, you’re bound to start liking anything. Maybe since I was holed up in the bedroom of my house like some captive, I started to develop that syndrome where you begin to sympathize with your abductor, you know, Stockholm Syndrome. I’m sure that this sudden realization came about due to my teetering on the brink of starvation, insanity & gut-wrenching illness. Regardless, what I’ve just admitted to is very shameful. Now, I’m going to take this no-longer-a secret shame, my Justin Guarini CD & my love of Britney Spears’ Gimme More song go hide under a rock for the rest of my days.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Lesson of the Day: Tights can cause muffin tops


Ever since last winter when I discovered knee-high boots that could fit my chicken calves, I've been sporting tights with them. However, I've recently come to the realization that tights have one major drawback: muffin tops.

Initially, I'm psyched when I put on my tights 'cause of the instant slimming effect. Unfortunately, that positive mojo is immediately flushed away when I see the spillage at the top of my skirt/bottom of shirt. So, until Spanx makes tights that reach as high as my collarbone and/or I successfully develop an eating disorder, consider yourself forewarned as to the drawbacks of tights.

Sigh.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Best...Wednesday...Ever.


After 4 (or is it 8?) long years, I am happy to feel like an American again. Tuesday's election was an incredible reminder that as Americans we are capable of breaking barriers and achieving what naysayers & history claim can not be done. Here are some pictures of the historic & international celebration of the November 4, 2008 election: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/04/reactions-around-the-worl_n_141187.html

Monday, November 03, 2008

Who wants to see this movie with me?

The movie, Milk, is coming out in November (definitely no pun intended) & looks really good. If you haven't seen the trailer for it yet, here it is: