Holy Serial Killer

tonight, whatever you're doing, cancel it. cancel your dentist appointment, skip the gym, bail on your blind date and screw working late. go to the ritz east and buy a ticket for you (and hell, me as well, i'll see it twice) for "Zodiac". loved it. loved jake, loved mark ruffalo, love RDJ (robert downey jr.)...even loved anthony edwards (member him? he was the main doc on ER that killed the show when his character died).

it was good...long, but good. i really enjoyed this movie start to finish. the acting in its great. there are some scenes in it i will never forget. for as scary as it was in some parts, it was also amazingly light-hearted and simple at times. and i promise you, you will never look at handwriting analysis the same way again...that is, if you ever cared in the first place.

four stars. and stop thinking what you're thinking...that i only like it because of jake. so not true and so unpretty for you to think that you little jerks :)

It's Like the Irish Sopranos

so have you seen it? the Black Donnelly's on NBC monday nights at 10:00 p.m.

i can't tell if it was good because it had an unexpected twist at the end (which BTW, i'm always a sucka' for...sixth sense-holla!) or if it genuinely was a good pilot. only one way to find out...watch the 2nd episode tonight and get back to you.

i'm sorta bummed though, because it took over the same time slot as "studio 60", which was like the only other network show beside "the office" that i actually enjoyed. oh well.

here's to the black irish, finally getting their turn to perpetuate an ethnic stereotype via a network show. we tip our mugs of guinness to ya' wee laddies :)

The Bitch Is Back

hey my little m-effers. i'm back. so sorry its been awhile. life didnt just knock on my door like a good lil' jehovah witness, but instead, it barged in like my crazy aunt Lou Lou, plopped its big fat ass down on my sofa and made me entertain it for way too long.

but, i make excuses. if i really loved you, i would be up in the middle of the night, blogging away...right? yes, you're right. i'm sorry. so, so, so sorry. will you forgive me, just like you will forgive crazy ass britney "has no hair" spears? of course you will...i smile as i type this because i feel like a spoiled brat.

Note to Fergie

Dear Fergie,

Although I am quite impressed that you can spell the lyrics to your songs (Ex: Fergalicious, Glamourous) given your history as a former meth addict, I implore that you please stop. This tactic is tired (remember Gwen Stefani? Now, millions of people know how to spell "bananas"), trite & makes you sound S-T-U-P-I-D.

The only people that spell words out are the parents of pre-school age children. Are you trying to establish a fanbase with that cool group of people? Didn't think so.

If you don't stop making these crappy songs, I will be forced to come over to your house, steal your hot boyfriend & punch you in your non-talented, already busted - looking face.

Sincerely,

Will. I. Am

Black-Eyed Peas

Ride on the Puke Train

During the 7 o'clock hour this morning, a coworker and I got a rude awakening on the R6. A girl who was standing next to us threw up. My coworker acted as my buffer because she was sitting on the outside of the seat, right next to said sick girl.

My first reaction was that of pity. I felt really bad because she must have been super embarrassed. But, then my coworker explained to me why I shouldn't feel bad. She thinks that the girl, who was obviously a student, was simply hung over and that's why she blew chunks (actually, it was more like bile). She was also laughing and joking about it with her friend.

Because I never get sick in the morning, I cannot sympathize with those poor souls who do. I think I would have brought a bag with me if I was feeling sick and about to get on a crowded train. In reality, I probably just wouldn't have gone to class. That's serious dedication to education. Sort of like the classroom version of puke and rally.

And you thought KittenWar was bad?

OMG. This is awful. Like KittenWar, but for people! If you dare, check out the Who Is Hotter Blog, but make sure to keep a trash can right next to you.

You decide. And I will too.

B: you love the asymmetrical tops. boring. C
Cam: hein dog. Seriously. at least pretend you have breasts. F
Nicole: you's a classy lady, but to skinny. Bows are on their way out but I like it on you. A
Jessie Biel: Nice breasts. And I like pink for a 24 year old. But up close you looked tired. Too many three ways with J Timbs & Scarlett?
Rachel Weisz: The prettiest. The best. The best best best. A+

Mama's Boy

props to ryan gosling. despite losing to forest whitacker for best actor, ryan is a winner in my book for bringing his mom and sister to the academy awards...he also brought a whole lotta sexy.

who would have thought the freak from "murder by numbers" could have pulled this off?

other surprising actors that were nominated this year: mark walburg. yes, as in marky-mark and the funky bunch.

see kids, dreams really do come true.

Glamorous or Morose?

Little Miss Dolly and Little Mr. Arrogant.

Abagail Breslin is adorable. She did an awesome job with Little Miss Sunshine. She's not a child actor robor like Dakota Fanning-- meaning she's in fifth grade and acts like a fifth grader, not like a 60 year old woman. But honestly, bringing the stuffed monkey to the Oscars was a little much. When you are in fifth grade, you are starting to like boys. You're probably not frenching them yet, but you at least know what that is. Fifth graders today probably have cellies and MySpace for chrissake. They are not bringing stuffed monkeys to the Oscars.

(And this is coming from a girl who still has a security blanket. I know, I know. but my older sister does too!)

Will Smith's son, Jaden, on the other hand, was super annoying because he tried to act like a veteran actor. He was cockier than Jack Nicholson. The kid was so annoying that when he got ahead of himself on the teleprompter, then read the envelope wrong, I was like "busted!" I know that's wrong and mean, as he is just a little kid, but it's just the truth. The unpretty truth.

Next in Celebrity News... You Stank.

I was watching E! or the Insider or some such celeb news show, and they had a whole segment on these two regular-joe women who have a malodor syndrome. No matter what these women eat, or how much they wash, they will always and forever smell. One lady says she smells like "burning rubber" and the other smells "like fish." It's due to some problem in the liver. Videos showed strangers waving the air in front of their noses and backing away from the women.

Now, this is seriously unfortunate. But I don't see how it belongs on Entertainment Tonight. Basically, ET was probably like-- ew, this is nasty-- people would love it! Let's put it on the show and pretend to be sympatheic. Now, it would be news if we found out Anna Nicole had the odor problem, and Britney shot Anna in the face with mace to remove it. Alas.

Chick-Flick Alert

I absolutely HATE chick flicks. However, once a year or so I have to give in to my estrogen producing body and watch one. My chick flick of '06 was The Devil Wears Prada. My chick flick of '07 is going to be the Nanny Diaries with Scarlett Johannson. Last year, I was into reading "chick lit" or what I affectionately referred to as my "stupid books" while I spent my weekends poolside. The themes of DWP, the Nanny Diaries, You'll Never Nanny in this town again, Celebrity Personal Assistant, etc. appealed to me. The common theme among all of these books were underappreciated, overworked people. Hmmmm....

Anyway, since this is a movie that I can't take the hubby to, I'll need some chicks to come with me. It comes out April 20th. Anyone interested?

AddisonOff?

So, one of the more normal Grey's ladies is leaving the show, getting a spinoff in NY. I should have seen it coming. All that talk with Alex about if she leaves, "would anybody notice?" It's too bad, becaus I like Kate Walsh, the woman, and I like Addison, the character. I think Addison broadens the show a little so it's not so much up McDreamy/Meredith's butt.

If her pilot tanks, she'll be back on Grey's. At least, that's the word on the street.

Love, Beanorama

Over the hill.

Kurt Cobain would be 40 this year. That blows my mind. Even more mind-blowing? He died at 27... the age I will be this year. I remember my mom picked me up from school in 7th grade, and she told me. We listened to it on NPR, then I put this Rolling Stone cover on my closet, where my New Kids poster had been just one year before, and a kitten poster two years before that.

Being the same age he was brings a little perspective- wow, this was a quiet guy that had massive fame, a drug-addled wife, a new baby, and boat loads of depression. Drugs + depression = Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix... all dead at 27 in the midst of their fame/careers. And they --like Judy Garland, James Dean, Marilyn Monroe-- got to spiral downhill without Perez Hilton documenting their every wedgie pick along the way. That's why I feel bad for La Lohan & Britney Spears... they are so utterly fucked and we all have to see every second of it.

That's Unpretty.

The Secret is...

bizzaro files...

have you heard about the secret?

its this strange cult phenomenon that everyone from oprah to CNN is talking about.

is the law of attraction really that earth-shattering of a realization? i feel like this is just more pretend fun for those da vinci code freaks to get off on.

i am tempted to pay the $5 though and watch the video. who wants to go halfsies?

Thought for the Day

I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams. (Hamlet, II.ii)

please post a comment as to what you think this means...

Harses, harses, harses.

My Mom got mad that I didn't get appropriately choked up over this video, but maybe you will:

There was a herd of horses that were trapped for 3 days on a tiny piece of land in wind and rain in the Netherlands a short while ago. The tiny piece of land was surrounded by deep water, and the water kept rising in the storm. The horses’ natural instincts kept them from swimming to solid land from their tiny perch. There were about 100 horses huddled together against the wind and water. The nation was mesmerized watching this drama as 18 of the horses perished, while others were slowly weakening.

First the fire department, then the Dutch army, tried to rescue them – both efforts were unsuccessful.

Then, with a break in the weather, the water level went down and four women hatched a plan to attempt a rescue by luring the horses into the water.

Here's a video of the successful rescue.

Hot in Herre

So, I am in such a great mood today because Punx Phil is living up to his word. It is finally back up in the high 40s. It's beginning to feel a lot like spring! (Which we all know is just summer's opening act.)

The latest in good girlz gone bad.

Joss Stone used to be a wholesome, crunchy, hippy sort of gal... now she's a mix between Lucille Ball and Shakira. Oh, how the mighty are fallen. First Jessica Simpson, then Nellie Furtado, now Joss Stone. I guess the Americans don't corner the market on "slutty."

Over the tizzy, Izzy.

So, I've discovered the wonder of the Internets, and that wonder is free episodes of Grey's Anatomy downloadable for free on ABC.com. I never seem to catch the actual episode, so I watch it a few days later, after my mom or sister or friend has already spilled all the deets. Anyway, this past episode was pretty good. When McSteamy squeezed McDreamy? Yea, a tear fell. But the tears were a flowing when Sandra Oh found out about Meredith (I'm not trying to give away too many details). When Mrs. Robota/Yang actually had TEARS in her EYES-- wowsers. Sad. But then Izzy goes into this whole "I believe" speech.... waaaaay over the top. No one talks like that. In a life or death situation, no one needs to know if you "believe that butter has no calories if no one is watching." Come on. Note to Grey's: simplicity rules. As does George. I love that guy.