Oldie but goodie

I was just thinking about this little gem from 2003.

Win it.

I am obsessed with blog giveaways... remember I got ALG the wedding planner? Anyway, ya'll, you can win 1 or 24 bags here: www.handbagplanet.com. Do it.

Like Paolo Nutini, I got my new shoes on...

Summer changing into fall depresses me, a lot. The only thing that can bring me out of this funk is new fall clothes. I know, it's shallow, but I don't care. I am a June baby.

Yesterday I got two new pairs of Fall / Winter shoes. A cheapo, patent-leathery brown pump from H&M... AND another that the salesgirl failed to locate in the store after 20 minutes of searching, so I bought online with free shipping: booties by Seychelles.

1) under jeans, they fit like the perfies pair of boots
2) they are a fashion risk for Beanie, but one I am willing to take
3) they are grey but look brown: multitasking!

I can't wait to do the closet clean out and see what goes with my new shoesies.

Thank you, SNL

Since McCain announced Sarah Palin as his running mate, everyone has commented on the uncanny resemblance between Palin, Tina Fey, Megan Mullaly & the "naughty librarian". SNL, of course, had to follow suit & have Tina Fey come back & perform as Sarah Palin. Here it is.

Can my baby be this adorable?

For the most part, I think that all kids under the age of 3 pretty much look the same. However, I'm loving Halle Berry's adorable little girl. I'm so jealous. I've got the colors right but not the genetics to put a beautiful bundle of joy like that together. Who knows? I heard that Derek Jeter's parents are ugly as sin & he's pretty.

Damn you, beautiful people!

“Four Christmases” – My New Solution to Handling the Holidays

I just saw the preview for this last night. First of all, I love Vince Vaughn. Any chick that they can get to share the same screen as him to pout & sigh (like Jen Aniston in The Break Up) is fine as long as I can get some great lines from Vince (like the phrase “motorboat” in Wedding Crashers). In this movie, Reese Witherspoon seems to fit the bill.

Second, I love the premise: a couple that goes on vacation during the holidays to prevent having to deal with family! LOVE IT! Like most people, married or not, dealing with family during the holidays is akin to getting a root canal without anesthesia and simultaneously experiencing a raging case of diarrhea. I don’t buy into the typical Norman Rockwell image that the holidays are a time of appreciation & thanksgiving for the everyday joys of life that we often take for granted, blah, blah, blah… Granted, my family situation isn’t dramatic or hilarious or tragic & I guess I should be grateful for that, but, the simple fact of the matter is that I just don’t like being around family, especially extended family.

Instead, I would prefer to go away to some place warm during the holidays. I have lain awake at night gloating over how much certain family members would be emotionally distraught or jealous over my absence at the holiday dinner table, while I’m basking in the sun in the Caribbean. There’s nothing wrong with that, right? In that Friends episode where Monica cooked the turkey for everyone, I thought that it was ideal. I would love for nothing more than to just entertain for my friends on that day. No driving, no drama, no rivalry, no “safe” conversation topics and best of all, I wouldn’t have to bite my tongue. Nothing good ever comes from me not being able to be my usual snarky self for days on end.

So, since I have to endure the usual BS this year, I’ve tried to think of the typical dysfunctional family holiday movie. And, in every dysfunctional family holiday movie, they always have the generic drunk relative, right? Well, I think that I’m going to cast myself in the role of Drunk Auntie/ Sister-In-Law/Daughter-In-Law. My family is severely lacking in that department. In previous years, I’ve hidden behind books & Ipods to keep a cool head. I think that this year would be a far more entertaining approach. I can tote a flask for dramatic effect filled with either booze or water. Probably booze since it will help to numb the pain. With any luck at the end of the holiday season, family members will be cringing at the thought of my presence as much as I dread theirs. Every time they reflect upon the holidays of ‘08, it’ll be like, “hey, do you remember how drunk miz got? Remember how she fell out of her chair drunk at the table? Or, when she opened all of the kids’ presents on Christmas Eve while they were watching cartoons?” I nearly ruined Christmas for some 10 yr. old last year by almost letting out the truth about Santa and I was sober & unprovoked then. If I’m successful, maybe they’ll cancel holiday get togethers completely! Or, at least not invite me.

Hmmm. One can only dream.

I don't think that his victim would find this funny...

On the heels of our awesome SoUnpretty book club meeting Sunday night, I remembered this clip from Family Guy.

One of my favorite '80s songs

Over the weekend, VH1 aired their top 100 songs of the '80s (only 100?!). I've seen this countdown episode about a dozen times, but I still love watching it over & over again. I forget what number this landed at in their countdown, but here's one of my favorite '80s songs. The video was so cute & typical. I suggest that you really crank it up when the lead singer hits that high note. Another interesting fact - a-ha is from Norway.

Fall Movie Lineup

As I mentioned in an earlier post, one of my favorite aspects of fall is that it signifies the return of more substantial movies & Oscar contenders. Here are some movies that I can’t wait to see and/or preview of what's to come:

1. Righteous Kill – with Robert DeNiro & Al Pacino. These two haven’t teamed up together on screen since Heat. Judging by the previews, it looks as though it may actually be good & not a movie that either star is doing “just to pay the bills” as Marlon Brando would say – such as recent flops like Two for the Money.
Release date: 9.12.08

2. Body of Lies - with Russell Crowe & Leonardo DiCaprio. It's another Ridley Scott film for Russell & I don't think that Leonardo's performances are ever a letdown. Release date: 10.10.08

3. Revolutionary Road -Leonardo DiCaprio & Kate Winslet team up again. This is actually based on a book by the same title ( possible book club selection?) Release date: 1.15.09. My b-day!

4.The Changeling-Angelina Jolie – as much as I would love to hate her, you have to admit that she can act her ass off. And, with Clint Eastwood directing & the fabulous period-piece outfits, the movie just has to be outstanding. This movie is already gaining Oscar buzz & is based on actual events. Release date:10.31.08.

5. Twilight - I don’t know that much about the books, I just know that when it comes to the theater, people (women in particular) are going to lose their minds. Release date: 11.21.08.

6. Burn after Reading – with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton , John Malkovich Frances McDormand & directed by the Coen brothers. This has to be kooky funny. I heard that the Coens told Brad to just act like a moron & he went with it. Release date: 9.12.08.

7. Eagle Eye- with Bridget Monaghan & Shia LeBoeuf. I enjoyed Shia in Transformers & Bridget in Gone Baby Gone, so I’m really interested to see how it’s going to turn out. Release date: 9.26.08.






If any of the above movies interest the SoUnpretty readers & want to get together & have a movie date for any of these, let me know ‘cause I’d love to go!

Don't forget to pack something good for lunch

Every year, Lean Cuisine offers limited time only lunch bags for sale exclusively through their website. The bags cost about $9.95 + shipping & handling. The proceeds from these lunch bags go to benefit the Susan G. Komen For The Cure. So, if you pack your lunch like I do & want something cute to tote around until you get to the office and/or enjoy pulling a cute tote bag out of the refrigerator when you grab your lunch, go to their website on now to order your bag ASAP ‘cause they do sell out quickly. This picture is of last year's bags, but this year's designs are just as cute.

Goodbye to my new favorite month: August

Prior to this summer, January used to be my favorite month (for purely obvious & selfish reasons – my birthday is January 15th). However, with the recent turn of another calendar page, I’ve discovered several new reasons to enjoy this month.

1) My work pace comes to a standstill. With so many co-workers on vacation, there’s very little work to do. Leaving me to explore the far reaches of the internet in peace. I can even get some leisurely reading done, like Quark for Dummies in my downtime.

2) Easier commute. Again, due to vacation schedules and school break, driving to work is a breeze. Especially on Mondays & Fridays.

3) Anticipation of the return of good television. I’ve been enjoying some of my favorite summer shows – Big Brother & Mad Men. But now, I eagerly await the return of my regular season shows & the new fall lineup.

4) Clothes – stores unveil their new fall silhouettes. Bold colors, sweaters, awesome looking shoes & mod silhouettes are just some of the fun stuff that I’m looking forward to. As much as I love summer, I always feel that the clothes are a bit lacking in style.

5) Good movies – I love the fun, lighthearted summer movies, but I’m ready for some movies that offer substance. More on that later.

So, what’s my least favorite month? February. Why? It's cold, miserable & the dead middle of winter.

For all of you Lily Allen Fans - I'm looking @ you, Beanorama

TMZ ran this entire clip of the British GQ awards. Apparently, she was drinking champagne right at the podium, which is why Elton John made that comment. I love Elton's response, though. He's so bitchy. I love the fact that he's bragging about his bitchy, drug-binging ways.

Gross Photo of the Week

Warning - if you've just recently eaten, this may cause you to hurl. This is Star Jones with her new "man" at the US Open. You know Al's like, "bitch, please! I can so do better than that! He's a two-bagger!"

Blech.

Lesson of the Day: There's no dignified way to clean the handles of an elliptical machine

Think about it.

Is Katy Perry a Lesbian or does she just sing like she's one?

Despite my best intentions, I'll admit that I like, ok, love the Katy Perry song "I kissed a girl". I can't help it, it's just so damn catchy. I just thought that this newcomer was singing about being drunk & hooking up with a chick just to see what it was like. You know, pulling a Lohan. However, a few weeks ago, I was in the gym locker room & heard her other new single "UR So Gay". It was awkward and ironic at the same time considering that while I'm getting dressed/undressed, I frequently come into uncomfortable contact with saggy Chester County boobs, Main Line roast beef curtains & Phoenixville flap jack asses. You get the picture.

Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder whether Katy's a lesbian, enjoys titling songs in sexually provocative way or if this is just a one album thing. Just out of curiosity, I had to log onto Itunes to see what some of the other titles of her songs were 'cause I fully expected to come across something like, "I like muff", or "muff-diving" or "Samantha Ronson 4 EVR". Alas, it turns out these are the only provocative songs on her cd.

Oh, well.

Put down that Hot Pocket, Unusual!

In addition to the not-so-scientific side effects of Diarrhea Pockets, er, umm, Hot Pockets, there's recently been an actual recall of Hot Pockets. No details yet on if they've recalled them 'cause they cause explosive diarrhea. Here's the link if you're afraid that you may be in danger: http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/news/20080822/hot-pockets-pepperoni-pizza-recalled.

When celebrity endorsements hurt the presidential candidate

Normally, I find it interesting when I find out that a celebrity that I like shares my same political views. Lately, however, there have been some celebrities that are endorsing Obama that I feel like are hurting the cause rather than helping it. Plus, a part of me gets irked at the fact that some celebrities are so full of themselves that they think that what they think will influence us regular people. People that just make me think "Jesus Christ, will you please shut your non-graduating from high school can barely read a script dumbass up?" Back in '04, I read that some of the most politically vocal celebrities, like Diddy & Ben Affleck, weren't even registered and/or hadn't voted prior to that year's election. I'm hoping that that's the case this year. I've compiled a brief list of celebrities that are endorsing Obama below. I think if these people are even thinking about voting, we may be better off if their SUV runs out of gas on their way to Starbucks & the voting booth.

Pro-Obama: Oprah, Jennifer Lopez, Scarlett Johannsen, Ben Affleck, Chris Brown, Jamie Foxx, Diddy, Russell Simmons, Ludacris, Charles Barkley, Roseanne Barr.

Pro-McCain: Kathy & Rick Hilton, Heidi Montag, Stephen Baldwin.

Shit, did my short list of twit McCain supporters totally void out my list of Obama supporters? Oh, well. Just in case you need an example of how useless & unhelpful a celebrity endorsement is, here's an excerpt of a song that Ludacris made in honor of Obama. Something tells me that this won't be playing at the DNC this week:
I’m back on it like I just signed my record deal/
Yeah the best is here/
The Bentley Coup paint is dripping wet - it got sex appeal/
Never should have hated - you never should’ve doubted him/
With a slot in the president’s iPod Obama shouted him/
Said I handled his biz and I’m one of his favorite rappers/
Will give Luda a special pardon if I’m ever in the slammer/
Better yet put me in office, make me your vice president/
Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant/
Now Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what?/
If you said it then you meant it, how you want it - head or gut?/
And all you other politicians trying to hate on my man/
Watch us win a majority vote in every state on my man/
You can’t stop what’s ’bout to happen, we ’bout to make history/
The first black president is destined and it’s meant to be/
The threats ain’t fazing us, the nooses or the jokes/
Get off your ass, black people, it’s time to get out and vote/
Paint the White House black and I’m sure that’s got ‘em terrified/
McCain don’t belong in any chair unless he’s paralyzed/
Yeah I said it cause Bush is mentally handicapped/
Ball up all of his speeches and I throw em like candy wrap/
‘Cause what you talking I hear nothing even relevant/
And you the worst of all 43 presidents/
Get out and vote or the end will be near/
The world is ready for change because Obama is here/

A Damn Shame

Much to my dismay, I found out that Britney Spears will not be performing at this year's VMAs. Some other dumbasses are lined up to perform. I don't remember their names 'cause honestly, if she isn't performing, who the ef cares? I've posted her amazing performance from last year just in case you want to reminisce.

Hey There, Hot Stuff....

Think you've got what it takes to oversee Plinko or the weird Mountain Climber game?

You can try out to be one of Drew Carey's Cuties at the Applebee's in Center City on 15th Street on Thursday!

Reminisce with Me...

Who remembers first discovering Bath and Body Works? I remember it so well...I smelled my friend Erica's Sun-Ripened Raspberry lotion during sophomore year Spanish and I knew it was something wonderful. There was also Country Apple, Pearberry, and many others, but the ultimate was Plumeria. Beanorama swore by it.

I still occasionally stop into B&BW today, but only because my roommate loves the antibacterial soap pumps. But this morning, I was surprised because someone at work had put Plumeria soap in the women's bathroom so we wouldn't have to use the abrasive and stinky crap fest soap that's in there.

I washed my hands twice with it. And not in an OCD way.