Dear Weeds:
I am officially surrendering. I give up. You’ve broken me spiritually, emotionally & physically. While some people may think that I’m nutso for writing a letter to a living organism that’s incapable of reading – I wholeheartedly disagree. I’ve been fighting you for the past two years & I feel as though I know my enemy pretty well.
Between my own gut instinct & what the Discovery channel show Planet Earth has taught me about what’s going to happen to the planet once us humans have died off & weeds take over, there’s no doubt in my mind that you can in fact, read this, as well as my thoughts and already know what my next move is to combat you. I’ve even lain in bed at night thinking about my next plan of attack. Poison? Weed Preventer? Gasoline? Fertilizer? Fire? Exorcism? I’ve attempted most of these solutions. Saturating the ground with enough poison only to have damaged my gorgeous plants. You fight back by creeping in around my roses, making it impossible to get to you. Then, while in fits of frustration, I’ve mistakenly pulled out my pansies, petunias and lilies. Oh, & don’t think that I don’t know about my peonies. You’re the real reason why they haven’t grown in 2 seasons. I haven’t been able to prove it, but I bet if I dig deep enough, I’ll find a dandelion at the root of it!
So, I’m tired of spending my gorgeous spring & summer weekends crying, frustrated, pounding at the ground in fits of fury. Instead, I should be enjoying the outside, laughing gaily, spending time with my friends, and shopping. Therefore, weeds, I’m officially waving my white flag. I’ll let some other foolish homeowner try (and fail) at deluding herself into thinking that you can actually be controlled.
You are truly a formidable enemy. Well played, my friend. Well played.
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