Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Editors Have Power.



wow. this blew my mind when i first saw it. if you haven't seen The Shining for real though, this probably will mean nothing to you. editors have such power. its amazing what changing the music, and adding a voice over can do to one of the scariest most disturbing movies ever.

Monday, April 27, 2009

I totally think that this is Will & Jada


Ted Casablanca put up this Blind Vice on his website on Friday. The majority of the comments said that they thought that the couple described are Will & Jada. What do you think?

Hard-Nipple Nick is the hottest star, both bod-wise and at the box office. His wife's figure and professional goings-on aren't too shabby, either, as both Mr. and Mrs. Nick enjoy fame and fortune regularly up on the big screen—though his paychecks dwarf hers, big-time.

Yep, everything's pretty cozy Chez Nick, even the bisexual couple's agreement to have lovers outside the marriage. Instead of his-and-hers towels, they have his-and-hers sex partners!

And you guessed it, there's a girl for Mrs. Nick and...

A boy for Mr. Nick! And like the smart have-it-all couple they are, the Nicks chose other famous people to be their closeted lovers. Too crafty! Only problem being Hard-Nipple's boyfriend is married to an established actress who's growing increasingly peeved over the clandestine arrangement.

"He's starting to go out and fly him with him everywhere," a good friend to the Nicks told yours truly about Hard-Nipple taking the BF a few too many places as of late. "They're turning up everywhere together, and [the boyfriend's wife] is getting really pissed about it. It's going too far. It's only a matter of time before she spills."

Guess all those pricey little gifties to the wife for borrowing her hubby aren't as attractive as they once were?

Must say I'm a tad surprised to hear this latest development, as H.-N'.s always been one of the best in the Biz about keeping his preferred love life on the down-low. And now that it's flyin' high, guess a tabloid revelation is only seconds away from takeoff!

And It Ain't: John Travolta, David Beckham, Jerry O'Connell

Checkbook Hangover - def., adj., verb


When one spends her/his paycheck with blatant disregard for bills that require immediate attention. The checkbook hangover is usually brought on by waking up on payday, seeing their newly inflated checking account balance and hence wantonly spending said money on-line throughout the day, in stores throughout the weekend
(fingers crossed, no less) and waking up suddenly on Monday morning only to deeply regret the binge spending & the walk of shame over to her/his computer to check one's account balance.

For example: After Miz Cynical purchased tennis lessons, a cute tennis outfit(s), work clothes and entertainment, she decided on Monday to turn her attention to the more pressing expenses in her life. I.E., utility bills.

Hangover cure – do checkbook balancing on Thursday, write checks on Thursday evening & have bills ready to mail by Friday morning, leaving very little opportunity to overspend on Friday & the weekend.

Possible side effects - this "cure" isn’t fun for anyone, now is it? Additionally, when would one be able to shop for herself if all the bills were paid? Riddle me that.

On unseasonably warm days like these....


I can't help but wonder if some head honchos (or corporate fat cats) @ PECO are maniacally laughing at us and the thought of increased revenue due to cooling expenses. It's the only thing keeping me from cranking on the A/C in my house 'cause I know that I would be lining their pockets.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

California, Here I Come!

we just booked our trip to San Francisco and Sonoma in June. anyone got tips/advice on this excursion. i know, i know, san fran is cold, bring a jacket.

wtf is up with that anyway? i thought cali was a warm state? its so weird.

also-we are attending a wedding in sonoma. i have never been to a destination wedding before. do you still go all out for the gift? i feel cheap asking, but i was really curious what is expected of you when you are paying a lot of money all ready...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I have a friend named Dorkaline

When you Google Image search "dorkaline" you get this: 

She is so Chrissy.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Beanorama, as a lover of all things green...


What do you think of these shoes? I'm torn between green, fuschia & blue. I feel that all of the colors would look great with jeans. Or, should I buy one in each color? If anyone else can help me with this critical shoe decision, I, of course, welcome your input.

Something good has happened.

When I was in college, my roommate's dad owned a grocery store in Pittsburgh and I swear it was the only place that carried low-fat (or maybe 1/3 less fat) Kraft Macaroni-and-Cheese. (The kind that's made with the Velveeta pack, no milk added.) It. was. awesome.

Post college, I could never find it again and assumed it never took off. But! Just this weekend, in my local Pathmark as I was seeing how many groceries I could get with my last remaining $40, I found Kraft Mac-and-Cheese with the Deluxe Velveeta pack with 2% milk! Hallelujah!

It's the perfect mix of the TASTE of the better, fattier Kraft Deluxe (that's real fatty) and the less tasty, regular kind where you have to add water.

Delightful. Thanks, Pathmark. Thanks, Kraft! (Even though you ARE owned by a cigarette company.)

Friday, April 17, 2009

What I WOULD Do...



i would let someone punch me right in the face if i meant that i could get within 10 feet of robert pattinson.

look at that dirty little smirk of his! yowsa, i do declare.

This is Why I'll Miss Lent

McDonald's probably won't be selling or advertising their fish fillet sandwich now that Lent is over, but damn I loved this commercial.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Phases

i'm in a rap phase at the moment. and i'm not talking kanye. i'm talking a hard core gangsta rap. old snoop/dr. dre shit. wtf is wrong with me?

i think i must be angry about something, but i have no idea what it could be. i'm liking my hair right now. and work is going well. i've got great friends and a reasonably crazy family. my dog's crazy as a loon, but that shit aint new. its spring. the weather we've been waiting for since september left out.

so what gives?

wait-i think i know what it may be...its this fucking annoying video that everyone can't stop fucking watching and playing extremely loudly.

What Do You Think of My Face Lift?

i thought the old girl could you a new look or two. its been a long time with those dot thinga ma jigs.

let me know what you think...

i love new clothes, so why not treat so unpretty to a new skin, eh?

I'm Taking Back the Blog, Betch


blog was the new journal.

twitter was the new blog.

twitter is getting twattier.

i want my blog back.

hey baby, its good to be home.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Classic mentos commercial

I guess that this is the 90s version of this pop culture question. Recently, I just happened to wonder what happened to these two things - Mentos commercials & Haddaway. Random, I know. Anyway, I was enjoying the fruit flavored Mentos at work a few weeks ago (which is a very underrated candy, btw) & happend to think of their wacky commercials. Do you miss them too? I think in our stress-filled culture that we need to return to the simpler times of the 90s that offered minty solutions to a potentially stressful scenario. They were always so goofy & fun! Did anyone else think that they were shot in Canada or Europe? The lighting was always super bright & soft.

I can see it now - a young, hotshot stock exchange guy that's watching the market crash & while he's contemplating jumping out of window, he realizes that he has some Mentos in his pocket. Problem solved! Have a Mentos! The freshmaker! Sometimes you just need a breath mint to make light of a confusing and/or stressful situation! I'll have to remember that myself when I need to try to stay fresh, cool & full of life!

Do you remember "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"?


This movie was on the other day & I couldn't help but remember how when this movie came out, it was supposed to be the cutting edge of special effects & cartoon artistry. It just looks hilarious by today's standards when you see movies like Ratatouille ( which is the last animated movie that I've seen) and the characters are so life-like, even down to their hair. I think that I'd really feel old if I saw All Dogs Go To Heaven or Fievel (which was the first animated cartoon that I saw on a VCR, right after watching E.T.).

Would you drive this?


GM/Segway introduced this P.U.M.A. last week as a way to cut down on vehicle emissions. Just like when the Segway was initally introduced, this thing is supposed to change the way people get around in cities and metropolitan areas. I think that GM should focus their energy and government bailout money on coming up with ideas that seriously reduce our carbon footprint on this planet. I think that the P.U.M.A. would be fun to try out for a day, but there's now way I would buy this thing.

Do you know the answer?




I love reading Ted Casablanca's Blind Vices on Eonline.com. I think that I have a pretty good idea as to who the subjects are to this Blind Vice? What do you think?
Double cocaine-addiction alert, babes!

But first off, gotta say it's a brutal Biz out here in Hollywood. Instead of keeping up with the Joneses, you have to keep up with the Richies. Thin will unfortunately always be in because every actor's worst nightmare is Jessica Simpson's last couple of months.

Meet Slurina Thigh-Disaster and Bart Farts-a-Lot. No relation between these two, except that they share the same nasty diet trick: nose candy. Yep, Slur and Bar are two of the more recent stars to shed their extra fluff, and we're not talking Jenny Craig here folks.

More like coke. Mountains of coke. See, Slurina's legs (and other appendages) are a disaster not because of her chunks, rather they seriously aren't there anymore. It's like they've disappeared or something.

Ever since that pic Slurina did a while back called Crimson Scorpio, for which she lost a shocking amount of weight, many folks have wondered where the hell that new figure came from. The same place where a lotta of T-town, stick-thin starlets like to get their stall on.

Weird, too, 'cause Ms. Thigh-Disaster used to be a bit on the plumper side, but always so healthy. Result of hew new figure: More roles, yeah, but she's also getting a rep for making vulgar scenes due to her constantly jumpy nature, regardless of whatever celebratory occasion she may find herself in. But she just can't get enough of this white stuff.

So unlike Bart:

This guy is most decidedly not a fan of the nose devil. In fact, he really doesn't like it at all. But he was forced to lose his happy poundage and didn't know what else to do...or snort. People like to laugh at a chubby actor, but won't swoon over one. He's told friends that coke is the "only thing" that will make him stop eating. So he does as much as he can to curb his appetite. Gross.

Jeez, what ever happened to some good ol' fashion diet and exercise?

And it ain't: Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Jessica Simpson

And it also ain't: Brendan Fraser, Jason Segal, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson


I think that they male blind vice is Seth Rogen. Ted also confirmed my guess when he wrote this on 4.8.09: And Seth Rogen is slowly slipping away right before our eyes! The skinny thang just doesn't look right on him. It's like trying to picture a six-pack on Will Ferrell. So not right.

You can tell he's ├╝ber uncomfortable, no longer being the jolly fat guy with the jokes, and if you're thinking he's healthier by dropping all that weight—not every way a guy gets thin is exactly good for your bod, ya know.


I think that the other coke addict is Christina Ricci. I'm curious as to what you guys think & why. Delicious!

Time for new postings!


I've had a few posting ideas recently that I've been waiting to have time to put up. I realized that so much time has passed since I've updated SoUnpretty that my autofill on my internets no longer remembers the web address. Rut-roh! So, here we go! It's been a while, so I apologize if my blogging/snarky comments are a bit off right now.