Thursday, January 31, 2008

Rebel with a juicy cause

As I bit into a shiny red apple last night, I remembered my short-loved, fruit-related rebellious stage. My parents always told me to wash my fruit before eating. After years of mindlessly obeying their command, I decided one day to stop the water-wasting cycle. For about a year, I refused to wash my apples, oranges, pears and strawberries. (I still rinsed peaches to remove the excess fuzz.) These days, I am happy to report, I thoroughly rinse all fruit.

On a related note, my grandmother used to wash her fruit with soap and water.

I concede

I've always disputed the traditional laundry laws, namely the separation rule. Call me a liberal radical, but I don't believe in segregating clothes simply because of their colors. Two nights ago, I finally got what many people said was coming to me. New red shirt. Cream sweater. White tank. You get the picture. The sweater is almost salvageable, but I really don't like pink. So to me, it's a goner. Soon a lucky Good Will shopper will wear the shirt for an important job interview. Her hard-times look will be softened by the light rose color she dons. She will get the job, work her way up from minimum wage and start making more money than me. But I digress.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I believe this is what you'd call a first-world problem.


Taxi cabs have GPS units. They have credit card machines. Some (in NYC) even have TVs. Yet, they cannot manage to have a receipt that prints out quickly!

When I know I have to ask for a receipt, I have a conundrum: do I tell them as we are nearing the stop that I need a receipt, and so as not to hold up traffic they end the fare and start printing (and I jyp them out of the last 20 cents)? Or, do I wait till we are stopped, then ask, causing an uncomfortable moment post-tipping as I wait?

No, Tommy, No!


Former Senator & Tom Cruise look-alike John Edwards is planning on announcing that he's dropping out of the Presidential race today http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22913001/?GT1=10755. He isn't one of my top 2 choices, but I still think that he has some good ideas and would make a good VP. This article claims that he doesn't plan on endorsing either candidate at this time, so let's hope that this leaves it open for him to receive a VP offer from either Hillary or Barak. I just hate to see anyone on the Democrat side drop out.


Dems in '08!

The Next Youtube Sensation?

My hubby's 4 year-old nephew, Jaden, was filmed doing his thang. The hubby thought that it belonged on Youtube. Instead, I have a much better forum for such cuteness - So Unpretty, of course.

Enjoy.
video

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I've Arrived


it's official.

i'd like to thank unusual suspect for inviting me to sounpretty.
i'd also like to acknowledge all of the other regular posters - without your daily observances to comment on i may have never been invited.

lastly, i'd like to thank my place of employment and my landlord who supply me with endless amounts of free internet access.

peace out b*tches. i've got a 1,000 page book to start. :)

Monday, January 28, 2008

So Unpretty Launches Book Club



well, it was rocky, but yes, its off to a start.

the first book we are reading is The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett.

read along with us. i am sure there will be posts about Pillars in the weeks to come.

should be fun.

should be.

Is It February Yet?


Now that all of the important dates are over ( my b-day, Unusual's b-day & I think maybe Incog's), I can't wait for this month to be over & for the calendar to read February 1. I don't know about you, but after the New Year, I feel as if I'm being bludgeoned over the head every where I look about how we should all resolve to get fit in the New Year. If you're like me, then getting fit has been your resolution for like, the last 5 years.

In January, everywhere I turn, I see "get fit" segments on morning shows, store ads featuring fitness clothes and gym commercials. Personally, I don't like being reminded of what I should be doing & what an incredible fat ass I am as I'm scarfing down bacon cheddar cheese fries with ranch dressing. I like to put off thinking about post-holiday stuff at least until Lent. As a matter of fact, maybe that's what we should do - roll New Year's Resolutions & Lent all into 1. We could resolve to lose weight/give something bad up in February or March instead of having to get right back to business on January 2nd. Hell, it probably took you from November to January to pack on the pounds, shouldn't you at least have 1 month to procrastinate doing something about it?

February has some good things going for it - Mardi Gras is right around the corner, plus the Superbowl. Besides, February is Sweeps month. Which means LOST is back, Big Brother 9 (that's right, bitches) and hopefully some other good TV & movies. Plus, we're one month closer to Spring.

3 more days...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Real Housewives of NYC: A show that I'm going to love to hate


On Saturday, I caught the last few minutes of Bravo's special on this new show. It's basically like the Real Housewives of OC - a group of nouveau riche, materialistic, vapid women, except they're not as blonde & surprisingly less attractive. I didn't realize that they were getting rid of the OC version until I saw this special. WTF? They better provide updates on the OC crew. I can't wait until Lauri gets a divorce from her 3rd hubby.

For some odd reason, this NYC version already bothers me. Like, I can take the flakiness of Californians, it's kind of expected. But, I expect East Coast people to be little bit more solid. Even though I realize that it isn't nice to generalize people like that. In typical tacky fashion, they show off all of their material possessions with a dollar sign next to it. I saw this one woman who should be ashamed to call herself a NYC chick. Her roots were showing & she definitely did not have the ass to carry the thong bikini that she was wearing while on vacation in St. Bart's.

Oh, well. As much as I didn't like the preview, I know that I'm going to get sucked into watching a marathon of the show & I'll be eagerly awaiting the antics of this crew just like I did with Jo, Lauri, Jena, Tammy, Tamra, etc.

A rose by another other name smells sweet, confuses me.




Imagine my confusion. I am watching a French movie about a little boy who thinks he is a little girl. The whole time, I am vaguely disconcerted... when does he grow up to be a lovely, famous singer?

Movie ends. Boy becomes girl but not singer.

Then my friend Smasheroo suggests we watch that Oscar-nominated actress as she protrays Edith Piaf, a French singer. A-ha! It's coming clear-ish. This is the movie I meant to see.

I mention to my mom that she needs to see the French singer-movie, La Vie En Rose, and she says, "Well, you know, I think I saw it... but it was about a little transgender boy..."

So, I'm not crazy! There was cause for confusion. France is not a big country. Only about the size of Texas. Why would they put out such similar titles?

BTW both movies were fab-o. LA Vie a bit more intense than MA Vie.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I dislike incongruities.


Spoiler Alert!!! For those of you who watch the office but have missed the last season...

At the end of season two, when Pam and Jim finally kissed at Casino Night, she was saying "No, no, no."

But at the beginning of season three, they flashbacked to the scene, and the dialogue changed. Jim was like, "you don't know how long I've wanted to do this." And Pam said, "me too."

WTF? No need to change the scene. Did they forget? Ugh. This reminds me of when Carrie saw Aiden on the street and he had Tate. No way was there enough time for Aiden to have the post-Carrie breakdown (remember "the face" from the SNL girl?), date the SNL girl, meet the furniture maker, marry her and have a kid that old. Oh, and Steve never told Miranda and Miranda never told Carrie that Aiden got married? That's BS.

(Sorry for the SATC sidebar there.)

A Lovely Tune


another great tune from Adele.

i think they shot this in Rittenhouse Square.

just kidding nerds.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

You Should Be Careful-I Know Tofu


actually...i don't.

so i did some research.

Tofu, also toufu (the Japanese Romaji spelling), doufu (the Chinese Pinyin spelling often used in Chinese recipes) or bean curd (the literal translation), is a food of Chinese origin,[1] made by coagulating soy milk, and then pressing the resulting curds into blocks. There are many different varieties of tofu, including fresh tofu and tofu that has been processed in some way. Tofu has very little flavor or smell on its own, so it can be used either in savory or sweet dishes, and is often seasoned or marinated to suit the dish.

i like it in crab pad thai from continental midtown.

i file tofu in an imaginary food group in my brain called "health foods". others are:
hummus
pita bread
lentils
sunflower seeds
bean sprouts
fiber bran
bran muffins
oatmeal
olive oil
grapefruit
skim milk

Amy Crackhouse goes to rehab?





We can only hope...

Reports are that Amy has finally realized that she needs to seek additional professional help for her many addictions. Just a few days after the Sun newspaper released footage of Amy allegedly smoking crack and talking about all the drugs she consumed, Amy's record label has announced that she has checked herself into a rehabilitation facility to continue her ongoing drug treatment as an inpatient.

It seems that her outpatient treatment must have included smoking crack because just a few days ago, on January 18th, mere hours before she appeared in court to support her husband during his scheduled court appearance for legal troubles stemming from allegations of witness tampering in an earlier case, Amy was caught on tape smoking what appeared to be crack cocaine from a pipe.

It was announced this week that Amy was been nominated for six Grammy awards. Overshadowing what should be the happy news (not withstanding the incarceration of her husband), the British police is still trying to decide whether or not to pursue charges because of the video.

I hope that she has learned a lesson from Heath Ledger's tragic and untimely demise....

I'm exhausted and depressed from writing all of this. Blah!

The Hills are alive with the sound of LO?

My name is RAGE and I'm addicted to THE HILLS....

Online Videos by Veoh.com



I'm okay with the fact that you might think I'm lame but I enjoy watching Brody Jenner find his motivation with Lauren. I also enjoy knowing why there's a team Heidi and a team Lauren.

I'm okay with it all....

For the Love of God


I just saw this article on MSN. This Baptist group is so heinous, I almost couldn't finish reading the article. However, the article does have a good message & if you want to check it out yourself, it's here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22813570/?GT1=10755 .


Basically, some radical Christian group is planning on protesting against a memorial to Heath Ledger. Didn't they ever hear of not speaking ill of the dead? It's such a lowlife, opportunistic cowardly thing to do. They said that "you cannot live in defiance of God. He (Ledger) got on that big screen with a big, fat message: God is a liar and it's OK to be gay....”


Yeah, well I'm saying that you're scum & you should go kill yourself. It's OK. God said it's OK to commit suicide. See how that works? I call myself a Christian & I'm preaching hate, intolerance and promoting committing a mortal sin.


Oh, well. I guess my revenge will come election time. Dems in 'o8!

Fashion: Spring 2008

I looooove this dress designed by Abaete (accent over the last e)

so chic. so sexy. so...chexy.

Fashion: 2008

oh, i can't believe coco chanel would have wanted this...is chanel now making clothing specifically for Paris Hilton? god.

i feel like if i were friends with paris, and we were going to a party and we had that customary phone call or text with each other about what to wear and i said "think this is not dressy, jeans are fine" she would interpret what i said by wearing this very outfit.

Fashion: Spring 2008


Prada...Nada.

and this is supposed to be ready to wear. busy, busy, busy beaver. the model looks hollow too.

Fashion: Spring 2008


cal klein, you are as cool as cucumber.

Fashion: Spring 2008

Ah, Donatella. i love you and i love your "versace hot pockets"; especially in the "chili-chili cheeseburger flavor.

Fashion: Spring 2008


chloe-its like wearing an abstract painting...i love it.

don't love those shoes though. the model looks like she had her feet amputated and they wrapped her ankles in ace bandages.

"Save Me"


Artist: Aimee Mann
Album: Magnolia Soundtrack

You look like a perfect fit
For a girl in need of a tourniquet

But can you - save me
Come on and - save me
If you could - save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone

'Cause I can tell
You know what it's like
The long farewell
Of the hunger strike

But can you save me
Come on and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone

You struck me down like radium
Like Peter Pan or Superman

You will come to save me
C'mon and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
'Cept the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
But the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone

C'mon and save me
Why don't you save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone

Except the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
Except the freaks who could never love anyone

Smoothie-rita: My New Favorite Cocktail


Last night, I realized that it's been quite some time that I've had a margarita & started craving one. However, I was conflicted with the thoughts of not only how do I go about satisfying this craving at 9 p.m. on a weeknight in the 'burbs, but also, should I be drinking a beverage filled with empty calories?


Earlier in the week, I had made a pitcher full of smoothie. Then it came to me - my smoothie contains the antioxidant power of pomegranate jucie, raspberries, strawberries combined with nonfat milk, nonfat plain yogurt & a banana. Just add some Smirnoff & presto - you have a beverage that's both delicious & nutritous!


Hey, do think this is a possible business idea? Maybe I can setup juice/vodka bars in different gyms & start selling this stuff? Hmmm...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Who knew... Jerry O'Connell does a good Tom Cruise impression

Calories, Calories, Calories!


there are gonna be some skinny bitches in NYC now more than ever!

who would ever dare order a large fry or grande mocha latte with 3 whopping digits staring them in the face.

flip flop girl. that's who :)

Morning Glory


behold, my new obsession: Adele.

she's british, she's amazing, she's hard to get music from. just spent a pretty penny on amazon.com importing her shit, but damn, she's worth it.

"Ewww..." Photo of the Week, 2


This thing is on Rock of Love 2. She's supposed to be French, but I think that she's lying about both her nationality & gender. I caught a few minutes of the show this weekend, and she talks like Pepe LePew, like, an over-the-top French stereotype. French people don't actually say "zis", etc.

Rumor has it that she's a porn star, which wouldn't surprise me at all. I can't imagine any other type of woman who'd be on this show anyway. She's in good company, though. Whenever the camera does a pan shot from one contestant to the next, it's like one big "I got beaten with an ugly stick" competition. These chicks are rough, but somehow Angelique is the worst looking of them all.

Even sadder, you know that Bret's totally going to tap that tranny. Ewww.

"Ewww..." Photo of the Week, 1


That mooch, Adnan Ghalib, has been getting on my nerves for quite some time now. Not because he's clearly using Britney Spears, but because he insists on not shaving that strip of hair on his chin. It totally skeeves me out. He was on Entertainment Tonight last night selling Britney out (I know, that didn't take long) & his chin hair was bothering me so much, that I couldn't even watch the interview. That, and once he admitted that he & Britney had a sexual relationship, I wanted to vomit. I haven't felt like reaching through the screen & correcting someone's appearance since the Britney Spears/Matt Lauer interview when she was wearing clumped fake eyelashes. Yuck.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Ready To Wear?



one of these shoes are christian louboutins and $760 and one of them are ninewest for $89.

you prob can figure it out which is which, but bottom line, besides the fabric, how much of a difference is there REALLY?

i only see one major difference-$671 savings if you bought the ninewest pair.

Office Fans Need Only Watch


fan of the office? fan of toby and michael rivalry? here's a 4 minute best of "toby vs. michael" sure to please.

Adopt Me, Please?


meet tulip.

she needs a home.

you need a friend.

i think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

HEATH IS DEAD


Actor Heath Ledger Is Found Dead
By Sewell Chan

The actor Heath Ledger was found dead this afternoon in an apartment building at 421 Broome Street in SoHo, according to the New York City police. Mr. Ledger was 28.

At 3:31 p.m., a masseuse arrived at Apartment 5A in the building for an appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said. The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of Mr. Ledger’s bedroom. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger unconscious. They shook him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities. The police said they did not suspect foul play and said they found pills near body.

Mr. Ledger, a native of Perth, Australia, won acclaim for his role as a co-star in “Brokeback Mountain”, a 2005 film. The film, based on a short story by Annie Proulx about two cowboys who fall in love, won critical acclaim. Reviewing the film in The New York Times, the critic Stephen Holden wrote, “Mr. Ledger magically and mysteriously disappears beneath the skin of his lean, sinewy character. It is a great screen performance, as good as the best of Marlon Brando and Sean Penn.”

Calls by The New York Times to Mara Buxbaum, a publicist for Mr. Ledger, and Steve Alexander, the actor’s agent, were not immediately returned this afternoon.

Thomas J. Lueck contributed reporting.

Me Thinks the Lady Doth Get Puncheth Too Much


see the black eye?

the tabs are saying they think its evidence she's had work done. and i agree...if by work they mean Guy Ritchie's fist.

ever since they've been together i always pictured Guy as some violent, ego-maniac threatened by Madonna's superior strength and success.

this is not the first black eye for her that the tabs have spotted. and usually, don't you get two black eyes from nose jobs or something? one seems weird.

plus, you know madonna picks some crazy, aggressive men to mate with. remember sean penn? great actor, agreed, but def nut case and temper tyrant.

madonna, i love you. don't take this crap. start hitting back or hit the road. one or the other.

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Watch Out


because here is celeb breeding at its finest: ladies and gents, introducing Miss Zoe Kravitz.

yes, folks-she's the lovechild of Lenny and Lisa Bonet. she is so effing gorge* that the hair don't doesnt even bother me. when you have a face like that, you can pull anything off-even if it looks like Rocky Balboa's baby's hair.

fun fact about me: i was obsessed with Lisa Bonet and the show, "It's a Different World" when i was a youngin.

*gorge: short for gorgeous

Long Lost Twin Sisters?



pictured right: actress, lizzy caplan
pictured left: actress, zooey denschal

Cloverfie...


i intentionally left the end of the movie title off. why? because i am creatively telling you how i feel about the movie.

it was just..."meh". mostly because of the ending. see, there really wasnt one.

i'm a big POW! WOW! KABLAM! kinda movie fan. i want a big and exciting movie to have a big and exciting ending. is that so bad?

all in all though, i def recommend seeing it. its def the best "monster attacks new york city" movie ever made. and that zooey denschal-look-a-like is a cool actress too.

Suck My Face


jared and paris sharing a magical moment at sundance.

barf-a-rama-ruski.

i picture their tongues pushing and poking each other and then sort of just giving up and going limp when they realize they are sucking face with twin skank.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Not as Good As Me.....

This is the father of my little*, Beth. It's hilarious. Not quite up to my dancing caliber, but pretty good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DsQEHGCLC8




*Little is a term that denotes the abbreviation of "Little Sister," per sorority guidelines.

Friday, January 18, 2008

The "Ewwww..." Photo of the Week

This week's "Ewww" photo is so disgusting & not work appropriate that I'm not even going to post it here.
I'll just provide the link:
http://x17online.com/celebrities/britney_spears/x17_xclusive_britneys_not_pregnant_period-01182008.php#more .
I'm hoping and praying that someone at x17 worked their ass off to photoshop this & that it's not true. I do want to warn you, however, that before looking at the photo, you may want to look at it well after you've digested your last meal, 'cause this is almost guaranteed to make you retch.

Age Is Just A Number


as illustrated by this effing adorable diptych of my friend, Justin TimberMeLake, age is just a number.

exhibit A: look at that lil' cowboy's face and then look at him as a handsome, fully grown stud-muffin. you CAN keep that childish joy in your life no matter how much your body grows.

happy bday to me. i am thankful for my 28 years and look forward to a new year.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Oh, squirrels.


Most faithful unpretty readers know of my squirrel drama. It's a saga, really, involving the family of squirrels living in my ceiling. Smedelicious sent me this lil image, which captures the struggles entirely.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

New Name for Vagina

this just in: there has been a new name invented for the vagina.

move aside lunchbox, flower, hoo-ha, beaver, britney and muff. make way for...

TREASURE CHEST

don't let any pirates in, ladies. but be aware, most men will need a map.

Katie Pops Xanax Before Interviews


i watched kit kat's gma interview with diane sawyer on monday and instantly thought it was odd. she seemed to really dig deep to answer the simplest of questions and the whole time, she spoke in a tone that was more fitting of a barbara walter's interview than morning talk show circuit.

i also saw her on letterman and that was even more weird. she kept staring at him like he was an insect and asking him the questions. almost like it was some weird christian science mind trick that tom taught her.

Behold-The Diet Girl Scout Cookie


they are calling them "Cinna-Spins".

i call them mfbs*.

society has gone too far. no sir, I WILL NOT EAT YOUR DIET GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. these things come out once a year and now you take away even that fleeting guilty pleasure? i think we will all live if we just stick to a moderate serving of the tried and true.

if i see anybody buying these, i'm gonna punch them in the face.

*mfbs-motha' fuckin bullshit

Guess Who The Freak Show Is


eryka ba-dee-ba-du.
what's gotten into you?
you look like a fool.
but you think its cool.
i wish i could stop pretending i can write rhymes.

i imagine its even worse in person.

her poor boyfriend, common. he must have a hell of time dealing with this shit. no walks hand in hand, because her hair has a radius of 2 feet..constantly defending her at movie theaters when people flip out because they have to sit behind that crap..suffering from a lack of vitamin D because that shit blocks out the sun.

btw-i saw common in o'hare airport and he is H-O-T. he can do better.

I Can't Get This Effing Song Out of My Head!


I cannot get the song "Paper Planes" by M.I.A. out of my head.

the video is just as weird as the song, but god help me, i love it. they played this at National Mechanics a couples of weeks ago and i dragged Flip Flop Girl onto the dance floor. Flip was willing (she was drunk) but she kept saying, "I've never heard this song before."

is anyone else obsessed?

Happy Birthday to Me!


Yep, I'm pretty important. Martin Luther King, Jr. & I share the same b-day. You can take from that what you want :). In addition to today being my birthday, I've also come to the realization that I'm officially in my late 20s. From now until I'm 32, I'm going to refer to my age as a "20-something". Also, whenever I complete a survey of some kind, I'll continue to check off the 18-25 age question. Right now, though, I think that I'm going to go back to bed, hide under the covers for another 10 years until I have some crow's feet around my eyes & I can look back on today & think about how young I was. Oh, well. I take comfort in the fact that any of the Real Housewives of Orange County would trade their left implant to switch places with me for my age.

Here are some personality traits of Capricorns like me. You can decide which of these traits that I embody.

Capricorn is the tenth sign of the Zodiac and associated with hard work and business affairs. Individuals born under this sign are thought to have an ambitious, modest, patient, responsible, stable, trustworthy, powerful, intellectual, perspicacious and persistent character but one which is also prone to coldness, conservatism, rigidity, materialism, and dullness.

Positive

Practical and prudent
Ambitious and disciplined
Patient and careful
Humorous and reserved

Negative

Pessimistic and fatalistic
Miserly and grudging

Monday, January 14, 2008

Yet Another Reason Why the Writers' Strike Needs to End



I've seen commercials for both Cashmere Mafia & Lipstick Jungle & if you don't realize that they're on separate networks, the shows look like they're practically interchangeable. The only way I know the difference is that Lucy Liu is on Cashmere Mafia & the other cute Asian chick from 90210 is on the other. Oh, & I think Brooke Shields is on one of them, too. What's really pathetic is that I read Candace Bushnell's Lipstick Jungle last summer when I was hanging out beside the pool & when I saw a commercial for the show, all I could think of was "that doesn't look anything like the book!"

Just in case you were wondering what part of that previous sentence was the pathetic part, it's both. 1) That I read Lipstick Jungle. Even as pool book, that's unacceptable. 2) That I cried out in righteous indignation that the show didn't seem to reflect the intricate plot line & complex characters that the book contained.

If the writers' strike is going to continue, is there any chance that these awful shows are going to get canceled?

Blame it on the Itunes


Recently, I was listening to one of the digital cable music stations on my TV when a classic Milli Vanilli song came on. Hearing "Blame it on the Rain" just brings back memories of doing the Running Man & Cabbage Patch Kid in the living room with my older bro, the 3rd grade, & getting the talk about what "gay" means.

After hearing the song, I realized how badly I wanted to add this & a few other Milli Vanilli songs to my Itunes library. However, Itunes only had some karaoke version or something available. What the f---? Why can't I get the real deal? I'd still have the cassette if I hadn't loaned it out to an old classmate, Ricky. He never gave it back to me. Jerk.

Who Knew that the 'Devil's Lettuce' Could be so Addictive?


I caught some of Celebrity Rehab over the weekend & saw that the adorable little daughter from Family Matters is in rehab -- for weed?!

I didn't think that weed was addictive, but according to Dr. Drew, the casting agents, & what I'm going to tell my kids, it truly is. Apparently, she's going to experience withdrawals & all of that other fun stuff just like the real addicts. I didn't get a chance to see the really f----- up guy, Jeff Conley/Conway or whatever. But, I heard that he's a real mess.

Has anyone else seen this show yet? If you didn't get a chance to see her story, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfdWbDbiTVo

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Lucy...You Got Some 'Splaining To Do!


oh my, my, my. Amy, Amy, Amy. from the looks of you, you probably are in desperate need of a flea dip. and a nice, big, warm bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.

hear you're back to doing Mark Ronson now...if that's true, i would've expected that you would've cleaned up your act. i hope you do, sooner than later. when it comes to hot messes, you are a close second to the one and only Britney Spears. that is never a good thing.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Finally, an Explanation as to Why Iowa & New Hampshire Are Important


This column appeared in Friday's edition of the Metro. Elliot Kalan offers an explanation and some unique insight into why Iowa & New Hampshire are incredibly important to our nation's democratic process.

You can read about it here: http://www.readmetro.com/show/en/Philadelphia/20080111/1/18/#

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Will Someone Please Stop Giving This Chick a Show?


When I heard that Queer I For the Stupid-Ass Guy was finally getting canned, I rejoiced. However, my happiness quickly turned to dismay when I began to see commercials for Carson Kressley's new stupid show How to Look Good Naked.

I just can't stand the fact that both men and women are taking advice from this fashion victim (in one commercial he was wearing camouflage pants, a boy scout belt & a tailored shirt with contrasting collar. Come on, who wears that?). Also, I can't decide if he has duck lips from smoking or Restalyne injections. The women that he's supposed to be "helping" resemble the cast of Dove Real Beauty campaign ad.

Do they really need the help of a guy who's probably afraid of vaginas to tell them how to look good naked? Every woman knows that it starts with nice lingerie. No one looks or feels good in big ass black or white granny panties & full coverage support bras. Looking at those women is beginning to turn me into a gay man. Whatever that means. It sounded snarky in my head.

Anyway, Lifewench is supposedly wear actresses go to die. Let's hope that the prestigious network stands up to its reputation & it happens with Carson.

Can You Rub Some Dignity on My Back Please?



'cause i can't seem to reach it...

its our favorite fakies-Heidi and Spencer-aka Speidi enjoying an ego-bathe.

let's play a game-can you spot all of the fake things on Heidi?

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Alycia Lane...Gone


Against So Unpretty's advice, CBS3 has decided to fire Alycia Lane. In response, Alycia is suing them for wrongful termination. She feels that since she hasn't been convicted of a crime yet, it's unfair for them to fire her. CBS3 feels that her personal life will take away from the credibility of the news. Yeah, 'cause you need a lot of credibility to read from a Tel-A-Prompter.

So, critics are saying that she's done in the Philly market, but her career as a news anchorwoman is probably not over. What that means for us is that the only newscasters that we have to look forward to for drama are John Bolaris & John Ogden.

Bummer.

This pic illustrates all of the reasons why she'll be missed :(

The "Ewwww..." Photo of the Week


This photo isn't that gross, but the story behind why I chose a picture of fat, bloated whale Dennis Haskins (a.k.a. Mr.Belding) is. Last night, I was watching an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia called Charlie Got Molested & it featured Dennis Haskins as some perv gym teacher.

That episode reminded me of a recent story that I heard comedian Christian Finnegan telling Preston & Steve a few months ago. Turns out, America's favorite principal as well as a lot of other comedians go to several expos to convince students to bring them to their school for a guest appearance, pep talks, whatever.

Well, according to Christian Finnegan, Dennis Haskins is notorious for hitting on young, attractive females by using this line : "You know, I used to be Mr. Belding on Saved by the Bell."

Ewww.