Monday, October 29, 2007

...And All That Jazz!

look out Windy City! here come the sassy S*m**o*s!

seriously folks, i can't wait to go to chicago this weekend. i literally just peed a little.

is it crazy that i wasnt half as excited to go on my Caribbean cruise in june? i mean, i guess i am just a city girl through and through. the shopping, the culture, the dining, the nightlife...

i have been known to like "the boogie".

wish me luck, kids. and wish i bring you back something from Chicago.

And You Thought You Were Having a Bad Day...

watch this and laugh your ass off at two things: the kid's overwhelming fear of dying and the mother/guardian's complete oblivion...

Friday, October 26, 2007


Nast. I just got a phone call at my work from an old dude that I generously, drunkenly shared a cab with the other night (no worries, there were 4 of us, we were safe).

When I say old dude, I'm talking seventies.

Anyhoo-- he asked me to go to a "nightclub opening" this Saturday -- adding "you know, the one we talked about." No, sir, I was five glasses of wine & champagne deep. I do not recall this nightclub.

Confused and slightly incredulous, I was able to politely decline, citing a birthday party and a Halloween party this Saturday. So he says, "well, then I'd like to take you for a drink after work next week."

At this point, it's dawning on me that this is no veiled job offer, no attempt at a pseudo grandfather-granddaughter relationship, but a bona fide DATE from a MAN IN HIS SEVENTIES. Gross!!

First of all, what dude with a "new hip" (as he told me on the phone) is shaking his thang at nighclubs with gals less than half his age?

I'll tell you. A known May-December relationship dude who apparently likes the younger flesh. And, I hear, he is a drug supplier.

Time to go vom. Then play with My Little Ponies.

Imagine This on Your Kitchen Table.....

I have noticed trucks bearing (no pun intended) this brand and always laughed to myself. A quick search on Wikipedia confirmed that Bimbo is a bakery started in Mexico and now active in the United States.

Of course, we all know why this is funny.

But I just envision children sitting at a table:

"Mom, can you toast me some Bimbo?"
"I want jelly on my Bimbo!"

Actually, I don't refer to bread by the brand name. Nevermind. Just find humor in the brand name.


If you're down, and troubled, and you need a helping hand... just go to Cute Overload. Seriously. This blog will give your endorphins a kick-start. And then make you want to nuzzle a pet. Then have a baby. And eat it.

I Need Your Opinion!!!

look at this awesome new dining room table i snagged at pier one imports.

got it for only $199! can't believe it.

the only thing chris and i can't decide on is which color chair. i prefer the cream, but he prefers the dark...thoughts?

Hey There, Maybelline Dream Mousse....

you are indeed dreamy!

i must admit, that i never thought i would want to smear your airy, silky goop onto my cheeks...but alas! i took a step (into CVS), pulled out my wallet (with $.11 in it), and took a leap (using my debit card instead). after deliberating for at least 15 minutes on all of the choices before me, i selected your blush in Cloud Wine. thankfully, great risks equal great rewards and i have a new found appreciation for you.

lesson learned: try something new everyday.

(cream blush is what they meant by that, right?)

See Mom, I'm Not Alone!

pulled this off of flickr.

i laughed and laughed and laughed....

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Favorite Friday: This Friday's Theme - Songstresses

my top 8 favorite lyrical lovelies are:

1. Tori Amos
2. Madonna
3. Mary J. Blige
4. Leslie Feist
5. Billie Holiday
6. Amy Winehouse
7. Sarah McLachlan
8. Patsy Cline

why 8? why not, you little jerk.

Bouncing Off Clouds

by Tori Amos

Bouncing Off Of Clouds We Were
Is There A Love Lost And Found

Make It Easy
Make This Easy
It's Not As Heavy As It Seems
Wrapped In Metal
Wrapped In Ivy
Paint It In Mint Ice Cream

We Could Be Bouncing Off The Top Of This Cloud
I'll Put On My Silver
We Could Be Bouncing Off The Top Of This Cloud

Failure To Respond But
I Did. But Did You Listen?

Bouncing Off The Top Of This Cloud
I'll Put On My Silver
About What You Said, Has It Come To This?
I'll Put On My Silver
Bouncing Off The Top Of This Cloud

Well You Can Stare All Day At The Sky
But That Won't Bring Her Back
That Won't Bring Her Back
You Say You're Waiting On Fate
But I Think Fate Is Now
I Think Fate Is Now
Waiting On Us

Make It Easy
Easy Easy
We Could Make This Easy
Easy Love Easy
We Could Make This Easy
Make This Easy
It's Not As Heavy As It Seems
Wrapped In Metal
Wrapped In Ivy
Blue Umbrellas Now Smiling

We Could Be Bouncing Off The Top Of This Cloud
I'll Put On My Silver
About What You Said, Has It Come To This?
I'll Put On My Silver

Bouncing Off The Top Of This Cloud
I'll Put On My Silver
About What You Said, Has It Come To This?
I'll Put On My Silver
Bouncing Off The Top Of This Cloud

Bouncing Off Of Clouds We Were

Dear Mom,

I'm really sorry I hid under the bed when you wanted to say good bye. See, it just hurts too much when you leave me. I love you so much and it kills me when you leave for work and I am left alone. The hours we are apart just drag on and on. I spend the time crying and sleeping, crying and looking out the window, and just crying.

Can you ask your boss if I could come to work with you? I'll be really, really good. I promise. I will just hide underneath your desk. No one even has to know.

I love you so much, Mom. See what you can do.

Sadie Sembrot

They probably found a home, but...

... for good measure, here are some more pictures of the homeless brothers.

Rain, rain, go away....

Last night may have been a dreary night, but it turned out quite nicely, thanks to a cozy meal and a delicious glass of wine at Standard Tap.

I love dark wood in dark restaurants and sitting in booths, indian-style. I do wish I had a turtleneck on, though.

Is Fall here?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I'm disturbed.

Yesterday I was crossing Market Street near City Hall when something disturbing happened: two cars (barely) got into a near-collision. The drivers stopped their cars in the middle of the intersection so they could yell and give each other rude hand gestures.

The most disturbing part? Not the yelling. Not the redic display of unwarranted anger. But the woman in the front passenger seat who automatically ducked as if she expected to get shot.

It's awesome to live in a place where one's first instinct is to dodge a bullet.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I'm addicted...

... to books and movies about addiction. I just finished watching Trainspotting and now I've read Dear Diary by Vice Magazine columnist Lesley Arfin. It was funny and scary and sad and happy and I am so glad I read it.

It's amazing how someone who was addicted to heroin can write down her thoughts which are so close to mine. I guess every gal has a lot of the same feelings growing up.

You should read it. Borrow mine or buy your own.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Save us.

These two kitties-- little brothers -- had a home in Northern Liberties, but their owner is not nice and doesn't want them. Does anyone want to save their little furry tails? Please?

Friday, October 19, 2007


I am a showoff. And my one sister has triplets under that dress (not the bride):

Wedding Jam, Parents Style.

Bride-orama's parents and parents-in-law. My dad is on the left. I like to think my rhythm & soul comes from him. The bride comes in towards the end.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Jesus Advertising, Inc.

I pass a funny sign on my way to work every day. Outside of a church, a sandwich board reads:

Church is cool.
(and air conditioned too)

It gives me a chuckle every morning. Thanks, JC. You just keep comin through.

Friday, October 12, 2007

I wanna play, too!

A few weeks ago, I accompanied the hubby to a Dick's Sporting Goods to look at some golf stuff when low & behold I had an epiphany that I too, should take up the sport of golfing. The picture above helped to convince me that golf is the sport for me & anything purple is meant to be bought by me. Those clubs are the most beautiful sports equipment that I have ever seen. This picture doesn't do it any justice, but if you could see it up close, you would see that the bag is made of an adorable pink & purple paisley print. It's so friggin' pretty & not at all the image that I would have for anything female golfing - related. Next, I saw cute purple Ecco shoes to match the bag. Then, I saw apparel that matched the shoes. Best part, the skirt isn't so short that I look like a squat lesbian. Don't even get me started on the various shades of pink for foam practice balls, putts, glove & wipey thingies.

This weekend I'm supposed to ride along on a golf outing to see if I even like the sport. Doesn't matter, though. In my head, I've already picked out accessories & it's too late. I saw it & I want it. Even if I don't wind up playing with a single round of golf.

Field Trip!

Ok, it was recently announced that a new Grace Kelly exhibit will be coming to America. This one will be held at the Sotheby's in NYC & will have dresses, jewelry & other items on display. I absolutely adore Philly's/America's Princess & would love to go see it.
Who else wants to go?
First stop - NYC, second stop - Monaco!

Drop of Wisdom

If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
-John Wayne

so true, Mr. Wayne. so true.

Close Up of the Cute


check it out. they're freaks. more so than even us!

you can find pictures of all types of cuteness. and also, they have a posting about a kitten with opposable thumbs. they claim said kitten will take over the world.

All Hallows Eve

My sister strikes again. Unusual called me out on this story via a comment on my last post, but I feel like this is worthy of its own post with pic. My sister called on me a few weeks ago to help her think of a Halloween costume, preferably one that she could do with a group of girls. Since she's a senior this year, it's a big deal because her class gets to wear their costumes to school. So, I gave a few suggestions. Certain So Unpretty bloggers/readers pitched in as well. Well, she finally decided. Sully. Yes, Sully from Monsters, Inc. - the blue, furry, 10-feet-tall animal that scares children at night. Since the dawn of time, Halloween has been the holiday for girls to dress slutty, whether they attend Catholic school or not. She will be stomping down the hall with textbooks in hand amidst sexy cops and slutty nurses. This is my sister. She makes me laugh and shake my head. And I love her.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Can You Spot the Cute In This Photo?

See This Movie This Weekend

The movie you need to see this weekend: Into the Wild.

so good. very moving and i promise, it will make you reflect upon your life, so beware. if you've got dust on your soul, you'll have to wipe it off and take a good look.

Hip Hop Hooray....

Hoooooooo! Heeeeeeeeey! Hooooooooo!

my old moniker is back and it feels good. call thee by thy name.

It's True, Stage Fright is Crippling....

There is nothing that bothers me more than when someone comes into the bathroom and sits in the stall next to me when there are three more available. I think it is appropriate bathroom etiquette to leave an empty stall between visitors when possible.

I get raging stage fright and cannot onesie when there is someone next to me. It's pathetic, I know.

I am forced to wait and think about the fact that the stalls are branded, "Hiney Hiders."

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

You Can't Always Get What You Want

When I was little, I wanted a sister more than anything in the world. I prayed to Mary. (Mommom said, "If you want something, pray to Jesus. If you really want something, pray to Mary, his mother.") I wrote to Santa. I lied to my class, teacher and principal when I was jealous of a kindergarten classmate whose mother was pregnant. Finally when I was seven, my wish came true...or did it?

My sister hates dresses and always has. Don't even show her a pair of tights/stockings/nylons. She prides herself on her array of made-to-fit sneakers. You can usually find her in a T-shirt and shorts/sweats. She never pierced her ears because there weren't long enough breaks between sports seasons (can't wear tape over them anymore). She never owned a Barbie, opting instead for cars and trucks. And, she just let me pick out her homecoming dress of the 10 my mother bought her.

I've concluded that she was supposed to be a boy, but all my praying changed her physical gender.

What are Little Girls Made of?

As many/all of you know, I have recently acquired some prime real estate in the Rittenhouse area. Yes, I rent a studio apartment. When I moved in, there were a number of things that needed to be fixed. Of the 20-item punch list I typed up, the most important request was a new bathroom floor. After calling every day at 8:00 a.m. for three weeks, I finally got it. Angelo, my maintenance connoisseur, gave me the prettiest, pinkest floor he could find. The white linoleum floor literally sparkles (the flecks do at least) and features pink roses in the middle of every tile. There is not one pink item in my apartment, nor is there a flower. But, girl want new floor, girl get new floor. Thanks, Ang.

He's baaaack.

My cousin and frequent commenter Marty the Walking Party, is back:

Read it: The Walking Party

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Monday, October 08, 2007

Best signs in town.

Someone told me the paint on my never-washed Subaru was getting "oxidized" so I spent my lovely Columbus Day off at a place that is literally called the "Hand Wash & Lube." First of all, that is a weird name.

Second of all, they had a rack of (very badly done) knockoff sunglasses. Each one spelled the comparitive brand wrong:

" compared to Christiann Diorr"
" compared to Burberyy"

If they are worried about copyrights and the strong arm of the law, why even make a tag?

Also while I was in there, 2 band members from the A-Sides were in there too, washing their tour van.

That is all.


I was pumping gas yesterday and noticed a hot novelty licence plate on the car behind me: it was a picture of Betty Boop with the words "Clasy Ldy." That, my friends, was an irony that delighted me. But even better? The driver got out and she was wearing a Betty Boop shirt. Now THAT is one clasy ldy.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Good Luck, Bride-to-Bean!

Dear Beanorama's Big Sis,

Good luck on your big day. I heard the weather is delightful and you are looking magnificent.

Because I shared an office with your lil' sis for most of the wedding planning, I must say that I feel like I was there for a lot of the tough decisions. I was like the unseen step-bridesmaid. Overhearing all of the phone calls to debate the bridal shower invitations...the bouquets...the groom and groomsmens' bow ties...I will never forget that there is in fact a color named "Fox Glove." And even though I never actually affected any of the decisions made, believe me, I struggled through them with you just the same.

Best wishes for a flawless strut up the aisle, a memorable ceremony, a fun-filled reception and an overall wonderful night.

If Beanorams messes anything up, just let me know and she will be punished :)

Pop Quiz: Which One Is Real and Which One Is Fake?

a. Dita Von Paste
b. Leatherface Posh
c. Both a and b

looking at these two, i keep cracking up. there is the obvious comparison of skin color. its almost like the wizard of oz movie. the left half of the photo is the first 15 minutes that was shot in black and know dorothy's house in kansas pre-tornado. and then the right half of the photo is colorful munchkin land. and posh is like the tallest, tannest munchkin.

and you know posh was probably thinking to herself how fabulous she was going to look standing next to dita. i can just hear that sassy english voice saying, "Right! Standing next to this glue stick, my tan is going to look properly major!"

i like both of these freaky-deaks and this photo is why.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Cash Cab RULES!

Have you seen the show Cash Cab? It is awesome. The premise is simple: people hop into what appears to be a normal NYC cab and are shocked to realize they are in the Cash Cab. The driver then asks them questions on the way to their destination and they win money for each question they answer correctly. If they get three wrong, they are left on the street.

NYC cabs are expensive, so that is one reason why it would rule. But also, the questions are incredibly easy, which is a second reason.

Plus, anytime I would visit my friends in NYC, the last thing I wanted to spend my money on was a cab. I was usually flat broke headed back to the train station.

Britney's Life In Pictures...

Thursday, October 04, 2007

October = Good Movie Month

One of my favorite things about fall is that movie studios start releasing some good movies that they hope are going to be Oscar contenders. Don't get me wrong, I loved my summer comedies like Knocked Up & Superbad, I'm just ready for something with a little bit more substance. The funny thing is that some of the movies has A.T.S's favorite actors in it and guys that top my/A.T.S./Flip Flop Girl's "Beautiful, Yet Ugly Actor" list. Here's just what October has to offer:

Jesse James - stars Brad Pitt & Casey Affleck. I've heard that Brad is at his best in this movie & that Casey Affleck can act circles around his older bro, Ben. No surprise there, really. In theaters 10.5.07.

Elizabeth, the Golden Age - stars Cate Blanchett & Clive Owen. I love both actors. Sheesh, even if you don't like the story line, watch it just for the beautiful costumes. In theaters 10.12.07.

We Own the Night- stars Mark Wahlberg and awesome Joaquin Pheonix, looking just as intense as ever. In theaters 10.12.07.

Gone Baby Gone - stars Casey Affleck & is Ben's directorial debut. I heard that this movie almost got shelved due to similarities with the Madeline McCann story. In theaters 10.19.07.

Things We Lost in the Fire - stars Halle Berry & Benicio Del Toro, who's on the "Beautiful, Yet Ugly Actor" list. Hell, even his name is sexy. Don't worry if you think that he's hot, too. Benicio was just on Oprah & had the entire audience cooing. That's right, if you think he's hot, you're in the same league as Oprah's fawning minions. Just kidding. In theaters 10.19.07.

Rendition - stars Peter Saarsgard, Jake Gyllenhaal, & Reese Witherspoon. I think Jake is supposed to be a bad guy in this movie, which should be interesting, to say the least. In theaters 10.19.07.
A.T. S. - I'm assuming that you've already bought your ticket & popcorn.

All of these great movies are a lead into November, which I know already has another good movie scheduled to be released - American Gangster with Denzel Washington & Russell Crowe, Nov. 2. Can't wait.

What movie do you want to see?