Wednesday, December 31, 2008


I am packing up my apartment, and these are some of the things I am giving away. Give me a holler if you want 'em:

  • really pretty, brand-new frame from Anthropologie
  • Season One of The OC (the best season)
  • a photo album from Honduras made of all natural materials
  • a mirror made of hammered tin and blue moon tiles
  • a vogue cover

Monday, December 22, 2008

It's our third Christmas together.

...and I still love The Rubes. How can you resist a cat when she nuzzles her head into your hand then falls into a deep sleep? Precious.

Oh my goodness.

I guess it's time for a new timing belt, or so I am told.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Couch for sale.

Please. Pretty please. Someone buy this couch. BEST OFFER.
Craigslist listing is here.

This is what is wrong with America.

Forget the economy, recession, blah blah blah. This is what is wrong with this country: that some market researcher actually decided that this item might sell as a potential Christmas gift -- a battery-operated, singing toy Jeep with a dead deer on the hood. Gross, man, gross.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Chair obsessed.

For the past three nights I have been dreaming about chairs. On Black Friday, instead of going to Best Buy and Radio Shack for super sales, I hit up literally fourteen furniture stores (mostly resale). I have been constantly scouring E-Bay and Craigslist using any combo of the following: danish, danish modern, mid century, vintage, chair, armchair, chaise.

I found two chairs at Uhuru. Two hours and much sweat later, we returned them (for store credit only - boo!) b/c we couldn't get them up the stairs.

Then - eureka! After hitting refresh, refresh, refresh, a new chair appears on Craigslist! And it's awesome! And I call... and the woman says she'll email me the measurements! And all night I dream about the perfect chair! I call all my friends! And the next morning it is SOLD - NOT TO ME! Whaaaa?

But, the danish modern gods were looking out for me because some poor sap's wife din't like how the amazing chair had a little rock to it. So I shlepped in the rain to Hatboro PA and look what I have now:

a most amazing 1963 Danish modern chair in aqua. Love love love.

I may be super particular and annoying, but hey - it's working for me!

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Allure of Dark Nail Polish

Last year, I was late catching onto the trend of dark nail polish. I didn’t realize that I liked it so much until I had a manicure done in about March, at the tail end of the dark nail polish season. However, this year’s going to be different! I’ve already spotted a couple of dark nail polish colors that I like – Revlon’s Vixen & OPI’s Paris collection. If dark nails appeal to you too, check out OPI’s website to pick your fave.

Who the hell does Oprah think she is?

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but apparently, Oprah has decided not to do a “Favorite Things” episode in the traditional sense this year. And by “traditional sense”, I mean when Oprah roles out all of this over-the-top free crap & the audience members lose all of their sense & go completely batshit crazy. Oprah has decided not to do her traditional “Favorite Things” episode in an attempt to sympathize with the everyday consumer & instead offer a show that will show audience members & viewers how to make “heartfelt” gifts from scratch that will cost virtually nothing. I just hope that Oprah’s audience members won’t flip out when they discover that this is not the freebie orgy that they were expecting & storm the stage. Even though, I would think that in today’s economy, Oprah’s show provides just what various retailers need: free advertising so that consumers will spend money. So, in lieu of what’s bound to be a disappointment to both the audience members & viewers, I’ve decided to post a real video that I found of her audience members' reaction & this SNL parody again just for ol’ times sake:

The Classiest Thing To Do These Days… Request your water in a wine glass

I apologize in advance that this is yet another post on my begrudgingly favorite show, Real Housewives of Atlanta. I noticed on two episodes that NeNe requested water in a wine glass. So, I figured, if the Real Housewives of Atlanta are doing this, this has to be a new trend that us less classy folks have yet to pick up on, right? So, from now on, when you’re at a restaurant or just at a social gathering of some kind, be sure “class” it up a bit by requesting water in a wine glass. Last night at the SoUnpretty book club at host AlltheRage’s house, I made sure to put my own twist on this new trend & take it to the next classiest level – I drank my wine from a water glass!

That’s right, bitches. Be prepared to bring your “A” game when you’re drinking around me.

The Return of the “Real” Real Housewives of the O.C.!

Ok, so I know this is my second post on this show, which means that either I need major help or it’s the Apocalypse. Or both. However, I’m very excited that the bleached blond minxes that started this craziness are coming back for another season. And, there’s a new chick that’s joining them! You can tell that Tamra already has her claws out. This fun starts at on Tuesday, November 25th!

The Bravo network should come with an FCC warning

Last Tuesday while I was home sick , I happened to catch a Real Housewives of Atlanta marathon. At the beginning of this season, my impression of the women were that the French phrase “nouveau riche” couldn’t even begin to describe the tacky, brittle, fell-ass-backwards-into-money parasitic personalities of these women. Just in case you’re not familiar with the cast, here’s the rundown:
NeNe – (pronounced knee-knee, not nay-nay for all you haters), reminds you of the disgusting chick from high school that managed to master her bj skills instead of her reading skills & married some old guy that looks like he’s knocking on death’s door & has money. She’s loud & obnoxious & I think that even her kids hate her.

Kim – reminds you of the trashy chick that you went to high school with whom didn’t discriminate. Every time she’s in the studio with producer Dallas Austin, I keep wondering if she’s going to cheat on her boyfriend, Big Papa, with Dallas. And, she’s only 30! Her wig is totally believable.

DeShawn – the wife of NBA player Eric Snow. Definitely fell ass backwards into money by being his high school sweetheart or something. Says things like “elite society” constantly, which just demonstrates just how low class she really is. Really needs to take a long, hard look at herself & then Kobe Bryant’s wife & see what she can do about developing an eating disorder ASAP.

Lisa – seems nice; however, word on the blogs is that she plays innocent & is just as conniving & catty. Needs to style her hair. Ex-wife of Keith Sweat.

- looks like a well-toned, cold, mean tranny. Grew up upper class & now is just “class”. She’s trying to design her own two-bit fashion line, was married to some football player who’s a back-up for the back-up.

Anyway, my distaste for these women has grown into somewhat liking these women. Or, at least somewhat liking one character, in particular, NeNe. Now granted, please don’t take this admission along the lines of I would want her to be my new BFF. Hardly. Instead, the rationale is more along the lines of, “If I had to kill all of these women, I would save NeNe for last”. Now, this sudden like/ newfound sympathy probably came about during my sickness & marathon viewing of the show. Maybe Bravo knows that after repeat exposure, you’re bound to start liking anything. Maybe since I was holed up in the bedroom of my house like some captive, I started to develop that syndrome where you begin to sympathize with your abductor, you know, Stockholm Syndrome. I’m sure that this sudden realization came about due to my teetering on the brink of starvation, insanity & gut-wrenching illness. Regardless, what I’ve just admitted to is very shameful. Now, I’m going to take this no-longer-a secret shame, my Justin Guarini CD & my love of Britney Spears’ Gimme More song go hide under a rock for the rest of my days.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Lesson of the Day: Tights can cause muffin tops

Ever since last winter when I discovered knee-high boots that could fit my chicken calves, I've been sporting tights with them. However, I've recently come to the realization that tights have one major drawback: muffin tops.

Initially, I'm psyched when I put on my tights 'cause of the instant slimming effect. Unfortunately, that positive mojo is immediately flushed away when I see the spillage at the top of my skirt/bottom of shirt. So, until Spanx makes tights that reach as high as my collarbone and/or I successfully develop an eating disorder, consider yourself forewarned as to the drawbacks of tights.


Wednesday, November 05, 2008


After 4 (or is it 8?) long years, I am happy to feel like an American again. Tuesday's election was an incredible reminder that as Americans we are capable of breaking barriers and achieving what naysayers & history claim can not be done. Here are some pictures of the historic & international celebration of the November 4, 2008 election:

Monday, November 03, 2008

Who wants to see this movie with me?

The movie, Milk, is coming out in November (definitely no pun intended) & looks really good. If you haven't seen the trailer for it yet, here it is:

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Palin as President!?!

On Chris Matthews' show on Sunday, one of the panelists suggested that Palin may run for President in 2012. And just in case you're wondering, no, it wasn't some sort of Halloween prank. The panelist was dead serious. I'm assuming that the creators of this website must've either heard the same rumor or assumed that if McCain wins the election, he'll presumably drop dead immediately following the election, leaving Palin as President.

Here's a frightening sneak peak at what the Oval Office would look like. After watching this fright fest, I was reminiscing about the innocent days of 'yore when the most worrisome activities in the Office involved bjs, mystery stains & cigars.

*Be sure to click on everything, especially the front door. Also, this website will be updated daily 'til Nov. 4th, so check back daily!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


My signifcant other and I are looking to buy a house hopefully within the next year, so I went online the other day to get a credit report. I don't know why I ignored the funny guy singing the jingles in the commercials, but I did not opt for I chose another database for one dollar and moved on.

Anyway, today I checked PNC Bank online statement and I had two unauthorized charges for some random website. I Googled it, found out these websites are notorious for scamming people and called a number. I got some strange answering machine, so tried another. I spoke with this weird representative who explained that they would immediately refund my money. It was scary and sketchy.

Just be careful.

Your Mom

Friday, October 10, 2008

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Even more:

'Nuff said.

Phils in 4, baby, Phils in 4.

I Remember When...

Being out of the office was awesome and you were siked to not be behind the old desk. But, lately, being out of the office just completely stresses me out because the work don't stop anymore like it used to. this week i have been out 2 days and i have paid dearly for it! i hate working through lunch or staying late just because i was OOTO doing work!

god damn it. its not fair!!!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

House For Sale

Ah...I know everyone may be sick of me talking about my house, but it is for sale. And I am hoping for a quick sale. I know it's not the ideal economic environment, but you see Chairman Bernanke, I've fallen in love and am betrothed to a Philadelphian and and will be purchasing a home with him!

But there is a catch....I need to sell my house first!

I am incredibly biased, but my house rules. We replaced the heater, the roof and made other upgrades to it. It also has a lot of charm, really nice paint colors and 3 bathrooms -- unheard of! Plus, my sister and I loved it with our heart and soul. I have so many memories in that house....good and bad...and it tugs at my heartstrings when I see the "For Sale" sign. Please help me find nice people to take her. I love the glass entryway the most. Always have.

I Am Funny Like That....

Yesterday, I had a meeting in downtown Wilmington (yes, there is such a place) that required me to park in a parking garage. When I returned with my ticket to pay at the pay station, an attendant came out and asked if I was paying was cash or credit card. I replied, "Debit" to which he replied, "Okay, we have been having some issues with the cards recently, but give it a try." So I inserted my card and crossed my fingers and waited. He shrieks, "DID YOU JUST CROSS YOUR FINGERS?" and I nodded. "I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT IN YEARS!" and started laughing.

That's just one of the many old-school rituals I do. I don't step on cracks, 'cause I don't want to break my Momma's back, either.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Rachel Z(H)oe

omigod. can one person be so self-centered? she makes paris hilton look like mother teresa...she makes oprah in 2008 look like oprah in 1995...she makes...makes...oh hell, she just makes me sick!

and seriously, SERIOUSLY she looks like the grinch!

p.s. i still will watch the show. its really the only thing good on bravo lately. project runway this year sucks rabbit balls.

This Just In...

McCain is really bad at making jokes.

STOP. God.

Ripped Upper Lip

so, once a month or actually more like every 6 weeks, i get my upper lip waxed. i dont really know why i do it. i just feel compelled to i guess. my facial hair (what little there is) is all light blonde. but yet i put myself through the pain, cost and annoying 2-5 day aftermath of pimples and dry skin. someone tell me to stop. i obviously am incapable of being rational when it comes to dealing with a little natural peach fuzz.

I'm Sorry.

I thought about a lot of ways to apologize from being absent from this pretty unpretty blog for so long and after a while i realized that Fiest said it best...

I'm sorry
Two words I always think
After you've gone
When I realize I was acting all wrong

So selfish
Two words that could describe
Oh actions of mine
When patience is in short supply

We don't need to say goodbye
We don't need to fight and cry
Oh we, we could hold each other tight tonight

We're so helpless
We're slaves to our impulses
We're afraid of our emotions
And no one knows where the shore is
We're divided by the ocean
And the only thing I know is
That the answer isn't for us
No the answer isn't for us

I'm sorry
Two words I always think
Oh after you've gone
When I realize I was acting all wrong

We don't need to say goodbye
We don't need to fight and cry
We, we could hold each other tight tonight

...are we cool now? awesome. xo.

Status: Alive

Don't worry everyone. I'm still alive, even though my symptoms have not subsided. Nonetheless, I am still here. I'm about as excited as these guys.

Monday, October 06, 2008

I'm not a hypochondriac

But meningitis always gets to me. Not to say that I always get it, but the fear of the quick killer often worries me. Anytime that I have cold symptoms and neck pain at the same time, I start freaking out. Yes, I realize that the neck soreness sometimes comes along with colds, but knowing this doesn't ease my anxiety. I mean, the big M can claim a victim in just 24 hours.

Anyway, today my neck and upper back were killing my because of (I think) a bouncy boat ride on a North Carolina lake On Sunday. And tonight, of course, I felt a sniffle coming on. I will give an update tomorrow to let all you So Unpretty readers know how I'm feeling...if I'm still around.

Annoying. Twitter.

As a fellow Unpretty blogger pointed out, lately our blogging has lapsed as our 140-tweeting has increased. Blame short attention spans, I guess.

But here are things about Twitter that I find utterly annoying:

1) Baring your soul to an embarrassing degree: If you are crying in real life, it seems a little less genuine if you are also working your thumbs to update your iPhone with how sad you are. Let's keep some things private.

2) Twitter relationships: on my work account, there is a couple (one in Philly, one in Baltimore) that talk all day via their @'s on Twitter. It's embarrassing. A 30 year old man and his girlfriend that works at WalMart are constantly flirting and sending love notes via Twitter. They fight about him @'ing other girls on Twitter. They even have tweeted about their sex AND used the word "boner." Gross. But I say nothing, since it is my work account. Sigh.

3) Depressed Twitterers: This is not the same as #1. Some Twitterers, like in #1, just have bad days or moments. Other are CONSTANTLY bitching or sad. In fact, the WalMart girlfriend from #2 is one of them. Every post is about how she hates her life, or thinks her customers are stupid, etc. I want to tell her to get off Twitter and get ON Prozac. There was another Twitterer, a photographer, who was depressed for about 2 months, but luckily things seem to be looking up for her. So it's not a lost cause.

4) Worker-Outers: I don't mind the occasional "went for a bike ride this morning" or "ran five miles- I'm so excited." I do that myself sometimes. But I can't stand the peeps who use Twitter as a public log of their workout accomplishments. I follow two people that every day mention how far they ran, what pace they had, how many weights they lifted. It's like, great. You work out, I eat chips and stare at my computer. Thanks for the update.

5) People who bitch about hashtags: Lots of super twitterers are big social media folks. And they HATE hashtags (#). Honestly, I read more posts about hating hashtags than I read posts that actually include hashtags. There is a lot of stupid bullshit on Twitter -- about 75% of it -- and you just have to learn to ignore it. I ignore hashtags. Why get so up in arms over a pound sign?

And that is all for now. I'd love to hear your Twitter pet peeves.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Jeans that make you go UGH.

So, fall is here, I can no longer deny it. I even did the closet switcheroo. I have 4 bags of items to bring to consignment shops and the Salvation Army, but the one thing I cannot do is get rid of old jeans.

They almost always seem to come back in style at one point or another (and the hope is that I can still fit them when they do). But here is the dilemma: despite owning about 12 pairs of jeans, I am not sure which look good this season!

Do I still wear skinny jeans? Is that done? Can a gal as short as I am wear wide leg? (No.) What do I do?

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Twitter killed the blog star.

Alright ya'll. SoUnpretty has been pretty... lacking for the past few months. I know I am not helping AT ALL by not posting since I had long hair, I mean... WOAH. 

So, the culprit to this lack of blogging? Everyone's favorite micro-blog, Twitter.
Now when I have an asinine thought I want to share with I shorten it to 140 characters and broadcast it to the world. 

So anyway, sorry blog for cheating on you with your younger, sexier and more popular-for-now cousin, Twitter. 

Please forgive me?

Happy Birthday!

I thought this image was appropriate. Happy birthday to a certain So Unpretty reader/editor!

It seems so simple.

Every time I write inside a card for someone, my heart starts racing. Beads of perspiration form on my brow. The palms of my hands become clammy. In order to avoid error under this kind of pressure, I always write out my messages beforehand. But last night I still messed up one word inside a just-bought Hallmark original. Bought a second card today. Hopefully it goes better this time.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Oldie but goodie

I was just thinking about this little gem from 2003.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Win it.

I am obsessed with blog giveaways... remember I got ALG the wedding planner? Anyway, ya'll, you can win 1 or 24 bags here: Do it.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Like Paolo Nutini, I got my new shoes on...

Summer changing into fall depresses me, a lot. The only thing that can bring me out of this funk is new fall clothes. I know, it's shallow, but I don't care. I am a June baby.

Yesterday I got two new pairs of Fall / Winter shoes. A cheapo, patent-leathery brown pump from H&M... AND another that the salesgirl failed to locate in the store after 20 minutes of searching, so I bought online with free shipping: booties by Seychelles.

1) under jeans, they fit like the perfies pair of boots
2) they are a fashion risk for Beanie, but one I am willing to take
3) they are grey but look brown: multitasking!

I can't wait to do the closet clean out and see what goes with my new shoesies.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Thank you, SNL

Since McCain announced Sarah Palin as his running mate, everyone has commented on the uncanny resemblance between Palin, Tina Fey, Megan Mullaly & the "naughty librarian". SNL, of course, had to follow suit & have Tina Fey come back & perform as Sarah Palin. Here it is.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Can my baby be this adorable?

For the most part, I think that all kids under the age of 3 pretty much look the same. However, I'm loving Halle Berry's adorable little girl. I'm so jealous. I've got the colors right but not the genetics to put a beautiful bundle of joy like that together. Who knows? I heard that Derek Jeter's parents are ugly as sin & he's pretty.

Damn you, beautiful people!

“Four Christmases” – My New Solution to Handling the Holidays

I just saw the preview for this last night. First of all, I love Vince Vaughn. Any chick that they can get to share the same screen as him to pout & sigh (like Jen Aniston in The Break Up) is fine as long as I can get some great lines from Vince (like the phrase “motorboat” in Wedding Crashers). In this movie, Reese Witherspoon seems to fit the bill.

Second, I love the premise: a couple that goes on vacation during the holidays to prevent having to deal with family! LOVE IT! Like most people, married or not, dealing with family during the holidays is akin to getting a root canal without anesthesia and simultaneously experiencing a raging case of diarrhea. I don’t buy into the typical Norman Rockwell image that the holidays are a time of appreciation & thanksgiving for the everyday joys of life that we often take for granted, blah, blah, blah… Granted, my family situation isn’t dramatic or hilarious or tragic & I guess I should be grateful for that, but, the simple fact of the matter is that I just don’t like being around family, especially extended family.

Instead, I would prefer to go away to some place warm during the holidays. I have lain awake at night gloating over how much certain family members would be emotionally distraught or jealous over my absence at the holiday dinner table, while I’m basking in the sun in the Caribbean. There’s nothing wrong with that, right? In that Friends episode where Monica cooked the turkey for everyone, I thought that it was ideal. I would love for nothing more than to just entertain for my friends on that day. No driving, no drama, no rivalry, no “safe” conversation topics and best of all, I wouldn’t have to bite my tongue. Nothing good ever comes from me not being able to be my usual snarky self for days on end.

So, since I have to endure the usual BS this year, I’ve tried to think of the typical dysfunctional family holiday movie. And, in every dysfunctional family holiday movie, they always have the generic drunk relative, right? Well, I think that I’m going to cast myself in the role of Drunk Auntie/ Sister-In-Law/Daughter-In-Law. My family is severely lacking in that department. In previous years, I’ve hidden behind books & Ipods to keep a cool head. I think that this year would be a far more entertaining approach. I can tote a flask for dramatic effect filled with either booze or water. Probably booze since it will help to numb the pain. With any luck at the end of the holiday season, family members will be cringing at the thought of my presence as much as I dread theirs. Every time they reflect upon the holidays of ‘08, it’ll be like, “hey, do you remember how drunk miz got? Remember how she fell out of her chair drunk at the table? Or, when she opened all of the kids’ presents on Christmas Eve while they were watching cartoons?” I nearly ruined Christmas for some 10 yr. old last year by almost letting out the truth about Santa and I was sober & unprovoked then. If I’m successful, maybe they’ll cancel holiday get togethers completely! Or, at least not invite me.

Hmmm. One can only dream.

Monday, September 08, 2008

I don't think that his victim would find this funny...

On the heels of our awesome SoUnpretty book club meeting Sunday night, I remembered this clip from Family Guy.

Friday, September 05, 2008

One of my favorite '80s songs

Over the weekend, VH1 aired their top 100 songs of the '80s (only 100?!). I've seen this countdown episode about a dozen times, but I still love watching it over & over again. I forget what number this landed at in their countdown, but here's one of my favorite '80s songs. The video was so cute & typical. I suggest that you really crank it up when the lead singer hits that high note. Another interesting fact - a-ha is from Norway.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Fall Movie Lineup

As I mentioned in an earlier post, one of my favorite aspects of fall is that it signifies the return of more substantial movies & Oscar contenders. Here are some movies that I can’t wait to see and/or preview of what's to come:

1. Righteous Kill – with Robert DeNiro & Al Pacino. These two haven’t teamed up together on screen since Heat. Judging by the previews, it looks as though it may actually be good & not a movie that either star is doing “just to pay the bills” as Marlon Brando would say – such as recent flops like Two for the Money.
Release date: 9.12.08

2. Body of Lies - with Russell Crowe & Leonardo DiCaprio. It's another Ridley Scott film for Russell & I don't think that Leonardo's performances are ever a letdown. Release date: 10.10.08

3. Revolutionary Road -Leonardo DiCaprio & Kate Winslet team up again. This is actually based on a book by the same title ( possible book club selection?) Release date: 1.15.09. My b-day!

4.The Changeling-Angelina Jolie – as much as I would love to hate her, you have to admit that she can act her ass off. And, with Clint Eastwood directing & the fabulous period-piece outfits, the movie just has to be outstanding. This movie is already gaining Oscar buzz & is based on actual events. Release date:10.31.08.

5. Twilight - I don’t know that much about the books, I just know that when it comes to the theater, people (women in particular) are going to lose their minds. Release date: 11.21.08.

6. Burn after Reading – with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton , John Malkovich Frances McDormand & directed by the Coen brothers. This has to be kooky funny. I heard that the Coens told Brad to just act like a moron & he went with it. Release date: 9.12.08.

7. Eagle Eye- with Bridget Monaghan & Shia LeBoeuf. I enjoyed Shia in Transformers & Bridget in Gone Baby Gone, so I’m really interested to see how it’s going to turn out. Release date: 9.26.08.

If any of the above movies interest the SoUnpretty readers & want to get together & have a movie date for any of these, let me know ‘cause I’d love to go!

Don't forget to pack something good for lunch

Every year, Lean Cuisine offers limited time only lunch bags for sale exclusively through their website. The bags cost about $9.95 + shipping & handling. The proceeds from these lunch bags go to benefit the Susan G. Komen For The Cure. So, if you pack your lunch like I do & want something cute to tote around until you get to the office and/or enjoy pulling a cute tote bag out of the refrigerator when you grab your lunch, go to their website on now to order your bag ASAP ‘cause they do sell out quickly. This picture is of last year's bags, but this year's designs are just as cute.

Goodbye to my new favorite month: August

Prior to this summer, January used to be my favorite month (for purely obvious & selfish reasons – my birthday is January 15th). However, with the recent turn of another calendar page, I’ve discovered several new reasons to enjoy this month.

1) My work pace comes to a standstill. With so many co-workers on vacation, there’s very little work to do. Leaving me to explore the far reaches of the internet in peace. I can even get some leisurely reading done, like Quark for Dummies in my downtime.

2) Easier commute. Again, due to vacation schedules and school break, driving to work is a breeze. Especially on Mondays & Fridays.

3) Anticipation of the return of good television. I’ve been enjoying some of my favorite summer shows – Big Brother & Mad Men. But now, I eagerly await the return of my regular season shows & the new fall lineup.

4) Clothes – stores unveil their new fall silhouettes. Bold colors, sweaters, awesome looking shoes & mod silhouettes are just some of the fun stuff that I’m looking forward to. As much as I love summer, I always feel that the clothes are a bit lacking in style.

5) Good movies – I love the fun, lighthearted summer movies, but I’m ready for some movies that offer substance. More on that later.

So, what’s my least favorite month? February. Why? It's cold, miserable & the dead middle of winter.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

For all of you Lily Allen Fans - I'm looking @ you, Beanorama

TMZ ran this entire clip of the British GQ awards. Apparently, she was drinking champagne right at the podium, which is why Elton John made that comment. I love Elton's response, though. He's so bitchy. I love the fact that he's bragging about his bitchy, drug-binging ways.

Gross Photo of the Week

Warning - if you've just recently eaten, this may cause you to hurl. This is Star Jones with her new "man" at the US Open. You know Al's like, "bitch, please! I can so do better than that! He's a two-bagger!"


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Is Katy Perry a Lesbian or does she just sing like she's one?

Despite my best intentions, I'll admit that I like, ok, love the Katy Perry song "I kissed a girl". I can't help it, it's just so damn catchy. I just thought that this newcomer was singing about being drunk & hooking up with a chick just to see what it was like. You know, pulling a Lohan. However, a few weeks ago, I was in the gym locker room & heard her other new single "UR So Gay". It was awkward and ironic at the same time considering that while I'm getting dressed/undressed, I frequently come into uncomfortable contact with saggy Chester County boobs, Main Line roast beef curtains & Phoenixville flap jack asses. You get the picture.

Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder whether Katy's a lesbian, enjoys titling songs in sexually provocative way or if this is just a one album thing. Just out of curiosity, I had to log onto Itunes to see what some of the other titles of her songs were 'cause I fully expected to come across something like, "I like muff", or "muff-diving" or "Samantha Ronson 4 EVR". Alas, it turns out these are the only provocative songs on her cd.

Oh, well.

Put down that Hot Pocket, Unusual!

In addition to the not-so-scientific side effects of Diarrhea Pockets, er, umm, Hot Pockets, there's recently been an actual recall of Hot Pockets. No details yet on if they've recalled them 'cause they cause explosive diarrhea. Here's the link if you're afraid that you may be in danger:

When celebrity endorsements hurt the presidential candidate

Normally, I find it interesting when I find out that a celebrity that I like shares my same political views. Lately, however, there have been some celebrities that are endorsing Obama that I feel like are hurting the cause rather than helping it. Plus, a part of me gets irked at the fact that some celebrities are so full of themselves that they think that what they think will influence us regular people. People that just make me think "Jesus Christ, will you please shut your non-graduating from high school can barely read a script dumbass up?" Back in '04, I read that some of the most politically vocal celebrities, like Diddy & Ben Affleck, weren't even registered and/or hadn't voted prior to that year's election. I'm hoping that that's the case this year. I've compiled a brief list of celebrities that are endorsing Obama below. I think if these people are even thinking about voting, we may be better off if their SUV runs out of gas on their way to Starbucks & the voting booth.

Pro-Obama: Oprah, Jennifer Lopez, Scarlett Johannsen, Ben Affleck, Chris Brown, Jamie Foxx, Diddy, Russell Simmons, Ludacris, Charles Barkley, Roseanne Barr.

Pro-McCain: Kathy & Rick Hilton, Heidi Montag, Stephen Baldwin.

Shit, did my short list of twit McCain supporters totally void out my list of Obama supporters? Oh, well. Just in case you need an example of how useless & unhelpful a celebrity endorsement is, here's an excerpt of a song that Ludacris made in honor of Obama. Something tells me that this won't be playing at the DNC this week:
I’m back on it like I just signed my record deal/
Yeah the best is here/
The Bentley Coup paint is dripping wet - it got sex appeal/
Never should have hated - you never should’ve doubted him/
With a slot in the president’s iPod Obama shouted him/
Said I handled his biz and I’m one of his favorite rappers/
Will give Luda a special pardon if I’m ever in the slammer/
Better yet put me in office, make me your vice president/
Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant/
Now Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what?/
If you said it then you meant it, how you want it - head or gut?/
And all you other politicians trying to hate on my man/
Watch us win a majority vote in every state on my man/
You can’t stop what’s ’bout to happen, we ’bout to make history/
The first black president is destined and it’s meant to be/
The threats ain’t fazing us, the nooses or the jokes/
Get off your ass, black people, it’s time to get out and vote/
Paint the White House black and I’m sure that’s got ‘em terrified/
McCain don’t belong in any chair unless he’s paralyzed/
Yeah I said it cause Bush is mentally handicapped/
Ball up all of his speeches and I throw em like candy wrap/
‘Cause what you talking I hear nothing even relevant/
And you the worst of all 43 presidents/
Get out and vote or the end will be near/
The world is ready for change because Obama is here/

A Damn Shame

Much to my dismay, I found out that Britney Spears will not be performing at this year's VMAs. Some other dumbasses are lined up to perform. I don't remember their names 'cause honestly, if she isn't performing, who the ef cares? I've posted her amazing performance from last year just in case you want to reminisce.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Hey There, Hot Stuff....

Think you've got what it takes to oversee Plinko or the weird Mountain Climber game?

You can try out to be one of Drew Carey's Cuties at the Applebee's in Center City on 15th Street on Thursday!

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Reminisce with Me...

Who remembers first discovering Bath and Body Works? I remember it so well...I smelled my friend Erica's Sun-Ripened Raspberry lotion during sophomore year Spanish and I knew it was something wonderful. There was also Country Apple, Pearberry, and many others, but the ultimate was Plumeria. Beanorama swore by it.

I still occasionally stop into B&BW today, but only because my roommate loves the antibacterial soap pumps. But this morning, I was surprised because someone at work had put Plumeria soap in the women's bathroom so we wouldn't have to use the abrasive and stinky crap fest soap that's in there.

I washed my hands twice with it. And not in an OCD way.

Monday, August 04, 2008

"Oh my god!"

Yesterday NotoriousALG and I were traversing lovely Rittenhouse Square on the way to down iced teas at Parc. I made casual eye contact with some kid, 19 or 20, as we walked past and as Notorious was telling me a story. "Oh my god!" I said, in reaction to something she said. A moment passed, then we hear from behind us "Oh my god!" in a falsetto from the kid we passed. Notorious and I automatically turned and looked at the kid who looked back with no expression on his face.

We automatically assumed the kid was making fun of Notorious ALG because -- for whatever reason -- she often gets mocked by strangers by what she says. Strangers like to say stuff to her. But then we realized I was the mockee. It was a new and different experience for me.

Then we had to sit next to a bunch of Dior-wearing, pseudo-Euro-trash Philadelphian douchebags who made their Corvette honk with their key. Lame-o!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

New Four Eyes.

I look creepy.
my creepy face in my new glasses. on TwitPic

Vacation, all I ever wanted.

In 9 days I will go on vacation with 44 members of the vO clan. My architect uncle made the sleeping plan... voila:

My bike's "before" pictures.

Can you tell I'm excited?

Monday, July 28, 2008


Belknap is the cabin I stay in when I go to Sandy Island, New Hampshire... where I am going in two weeks! Here is a video that my cousin MvO found to get me through the next two weeks. It's taken by some other campers of the lovely Lake Winnepesaukee outside of Belknap cabin.

My new bike!

I'm so excited! I'm also so scurred. I got a bike- a red bike, with foot brakes! Just what this girl needs. Sorry cabbies: from now on I'll pedal and save my sheckles. I feel like a real Philadelphian now. I promise I'll wear a helmet most times.

Thanks, anonymous commenter, for doin' it up.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Don't pay outrageous 411 prices.

This is cool:

Not just a friend of Monica and Rachel

After a three-hour ride home from the shore today, I decided to reward myself with some delicious culinary delights from Phoebe's Bar-B-Q on South Street. This time I'm going for a sides-only order. The ribs I had last time were great, but it was a huge meal. So, I'm goin for mashed, mac, and veg. My mouth is watering. I wrote this post to kill time. Gotta go pick it up.

(Note: The above pic is not of an actual Phoebe's meal, but it still looks good.)

My Fave Summer Show Returns Tonight

If you didn't have chance to catch MadMen last summer, tonight's the chance to start watching Season 2. I love this show so much & it really should be a show that comes on during the regular tv season. It was already nominated for a whole bunch of Emmys. Just in case you don't know what it's about - the show is based on ad execs in NYC in the 50s & all of the marketing, culture, politics & other fascinating details that were playing out during that era. And, it's really smart & sleek writing. Here's a trailer if you're interested. If you decide to tune in this season & need some background on Season 1, I will gladly clue you in.

Another reason to dislike the Hogan's

I don't know about you, but I've already had it with the Hogan family because of the whole Nick Hogan putting his friend into a coma/I don't deserve to be in prison/public divorce nonsense. For a while, it seemed as though their man-daughter Brooke was the only sane one. Now, I'm not so sure. This clip is just proof that no one in their family should be recorded saying anything without a publicist present.

This time it wasn't Sherri Shepherd....

The only reason why this clip is interesting is because whenever I tune into The View, I keep a running bet against myself debating how long it will take until Whoopi stands up & smacks the shit out of either Sherri Shepherd or Elizabeth Hasselback. And then, which one will it be first? Last week, Elizabeth was the one that said something dumb & I was hoping that it would be followed by Whoopi smacking the crap out of Elizabeth. No such luck. However, if you haven't seen this clip yet, you can watch it & check out Whoopi's facial expressions.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Everything's coming up skank

Marie Claire included a "Sexy 101" list in its August issue, and I found one of the items particularly disturbing.

21. Sexiest weight-loss plan: Red Wine Diet. Drink yourself skinny.

I didn't read on after that for fear of what else they find particularly sexy this year. I guess (read: hope) they were trying to be funny, but I read it while I was in one of my American-girls-are-getting-dumber-and-trashier moods.

Also, while I was in Greece, people told us that foreign guys love American girls because they think they are easy, an opinion based on "Sex and the City" and "Girls Gone Wild" apparently. So, I guess non-Americans aren't that bright either.

Happy Friday everyone.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Summer hot, summer cold.

I have a summer cold. It's not terrible: I am just stuffed up and have a few sneezes. On a scale of 1-10, it's only a 5 or 6. But the bad part is not that it's a cold, but that it's a summer cold. In the winter, it's tempting to go home, eat hot soup, drink tea and cuddle up in bed with your little black cat. But in Summer, when your a.c. barely kicks in, the thought of hot liquids and comfy duvets makes a girl want to sweat.

On the bright side, I get free pizza for lunch today.

I don't think your baby is cute.

Last night I saw The Dark Knight at the Roxy on Sansom Street. I enjoyed the film, but I did not enjoy the crying infant in the row next to me. As soon as I saw the mom/dad/baby entered, I knew the outcome would not be good. Of course he/she kept crying, the inconsiderate parents would keep getting up to go to the lobby, and then they would come back in only to repeat the process. Eventually, they gave up and left the movie, and there was a sigh of relief from the crowd.

Thanks for ruining the first half of the movie for all the patrons who decided not to bring crying babies.

On a related note, I feel the same way about people who bring infants on airplanes. Unless they are going to visit family or making a necessary trip, people should not be so thoughtless to bring a baby on a plane where he/she will inevitably cry and scream from the air pressure. My Hawaii flight two years ago was a disaster - six hours of high-pitched screaming didn't exactly get our vacation off to a good start.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Why do I have to stare at and obsess over any cuts or bruises when I get them? I have never bruised easily, so I enjoy when I get one.

I wish I had a cool story about this one, like I was skydiving and the parachute didn't open so I grabbed onto an eagle and its talon scratched me, but really I just launched myself over a balcony sneaking out of a hotel pool in a bikini. Dumb.