Thursday, August 28, 2008

Is Katy Perry a Lesbian or does she just sing like she's one?

Despite my best intentions, I'll admit that I like, ok, love the Katy Perry song "I kissed a girl". I can't help it, it's just so damn catchy. I just thought that this newcomer was singing about being drunk & hooking up with a chick just to see what it was like. You know, pulling a Lohan. However, a few weeks ago, I was in the gym locker room & heard her other new single "UR So Gay". It was awkward and ironic at the same time considering that while I'm getting dressed/undressed, I frequently come into uncomfortable contact with saggy Chester County boobs, Main Line roast beef curtains & Phoenixville flap jack asses. You get the picture.

Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder whether Katy's a lesbian, enjoys titling songs in sexually provocative way or if this is just a one album thing. Just out of curiosity, I had to log onto Itunes to see what some of the other titles of her songs were 'cause I fully expected to come across something like, "I like muff", or "muff-diving" or "Samantha Ronson 4 EVR". Alas, it turns out these are the only provocative songs on her cd.

Oh, well.

Put down that Hot Pocket, Unusual!

In addition to the not-so-scientific side effects of Diarrhea Pockets, er, umm, Hot Pockets, there's recently been an actual recall of Hot Pockets. No details yet on if they've recalled them 'cause they cause explosive diarrhea. Here's the link if you're afraid that you may be in danger:

When celebrity endorsements hurt the presidential candidate

Normally, I find it interesting when I find out that a celebrity that I like shares my same political views. Lately, however, there have been some celebrities that are endorsing Obama that I feel like are hurting the cause rather than helping it. Plus, a part of me gets irked at the fact that some celebrities are so full of themselves that they think that what they think will influence us regular people. People that just make me think "Jesus Christ, will you please shut your non-graduating from high school can barely read a script dumbass up?" Back in '04, I read that some of the most politically vocal celebrities, like Diddy & Ben Affleck, weren't even registered and/or hadn't voted prior to that year's election. I'm hoping that that's the case this year. I've compiled a brief list of celebrities that are endorsing Obama below. I think if these people are even thinking about voting, we may be better off if their SUV runs out of gas on their way to Starbucks & the voting booth.

Pro-Obama: Oprah, Jennifer Lopez, Scarlett Johannsen, Ben Affleck, Chris Brown, Jamie Foxx, Diddy, Russell Simmons, Ludacris, Charles Barkley, Roseanne Barr.

Pro-McCain: Kathy & Rick Hilton, Heidi Montag, Stephen Baldwin.

Shit, did my short list of twit McCain supporters totally void out my list of Obama supporters? Oh, well. Just in case you need an example of how useless & unhelpful a celebrity endorsement is, here's an excerpt of a song that Ludacris made in honor of Obama. Something tells me that this won't be playing at the DNC this week:
I’m back on it like I just signed my record deal/
Yeah the best is here/
The Bentley Coup paint is dripping wet - it got sex appeal/
Never should have hated - you never should’ve doubted him/
With a slot in the president’s iPod Obama shouted him/
Said I handled his biz and I’m one of his favorite rappers/
Will give Luda a special pardon if I’m ever in the slammer/
Better yet put me in office, make me your vice president/
Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant/
Now Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what?/
If you said it then you meant it, how you want it - head or gut?/
And all you other politicians trying to hate on my man/
Watch us win a majority vote in every state on my man/
You can’t stop what’s ’bout to happen, we ’bout to make history/
The first black president is destined and it’s meant to be/
The threats ain’t fazing us, the nooses or the jokes/
Get off your ass, black people, it’s time to get out and vote/
Paint the White House black and I’m sure that’s got ‘em terrified/
McCain don’t belong in any chair unless he’s paralyzed/
Yeah I said it cause Bush is mentally handicapped/
Ball up all of his speeches and I throw em like candy wrap/
‘Cause what you talking I hear nothing even relevant/
And you the worst of all 43 presidents/
Get out and vote or the end will be near/
The world is ready for change because Obama is here/

A Damn Shame

Much to my dismay, I found out that Britney Spears will not be performing at this year's VMAs. Some other dumbasses are lined up to perform. I don't remember their names 'cause honestly, if she isn't performing, who the ef cares? I've posted her amazing performance from last year just in case you want to reminisce.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Hey There, Hot Stuff....

Think you've got what it takes to oversee Plinko or the weird Mountain Climber game?

You can try out to be one of Drew Carey's Cuties at the Applebee's in Center City on 15th Street on Thursday!

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Reminisce with Me...

Who remembers first discovering Bath and Body Works? I remember it so well...I smelled my friend Erica's Sun-Ripened Raspberry lotion during sophomore year Spanish and I knew it was something wonderful. There was also Country Apple, Pearberry, and many others, but the ultimate was Plumeria. Beanorama swore by it.

I still occasionally stop into B&BW today, but only because my roommate loves the antibacterial soap pumps. But this morning, I was surprised because someone at work had put Plumeria soap in the women's bathroom so we wouldn't have to use the abrasive and stinky crap fest soap that's in there.

I washed my hands twice with it. And not in an OCD way.

Monday, August 04, 2008

"Oh my god!"

Yesterday NotoriousALG and I were traversing lovely Rittenhouse Square on the way to down iced teas at Parc. I made casual eye contact with some kid, 19 or 20, as we walked past and as Notorious was telling me a story. "Oh my god!" I said, in reaction to something she said. A moment passed, then we hear from behind us "Oh my god!" in a falsetto from the kid we passed. Notorious and I automatically turned and looked at the kid who looked back with no expression on his face.

We automatically assumed the kid was making fun of Notorious ALG because -- for whatever reason -- she often gets mocked by strangers by what she says. Strangers like to say stuff to her. But then we realized I was the mockee. It was a new and different experience for me.

Then we had to sit next to a bunch of Dior-wearing, pseudo-Euro-trash Philadelphian douchebags who made their Corvette honk with their key. Lame-o!