Can You Even Stand It?!?!

please tell me you've heard the new Nelly, Timbaland, JT song, "Give it to Me". ah, its so good. my only hope is that i can dance to it tonight. just in case it doesnt come on while i'm out, i am calling a 12 noon dance par-tay in me and beanorama's office.

best line of the song is sung by JT: "if sexy never left then why is everybody on my dick?"

i faint every time i hear it.

A Concert So Much Fun, I Actually Got Injured

sorry for the deeeelay, but i'm finally ready to talk about the JT concert. it was F-U-N. all of my predictions from my previous post came true, save for one: that i would cry (because that's what i usually do when i am moved).

well, thats not entirely true...i did cry...but it was not because of seeing JT live in the flesh. it was because an escalator stair step tore into the flesh of shin. OUCH.

drunk+being rambunctious on the escalator with friends=mad and painful wound on leg.

justin brought sexy back, and i brought tetanus.

Award Entry: Best Assistant

(composed by ECR)

In her relatively short time as an Unnamed Department assistant, Flip Flop Girl has brought a level of skill and dedication that could scarcely have been anticipated upon her arrival in the spring of 2005. With a quick wit and a quicker smile, Flip Flop has consistently brightened workdays office-wide through the sheer force of her personality; but her greatest contributions have come within the Unnamed Department, where she is revered in a manner befitting her unparalleled combination of grace and talent. Flip Flop has come to be regarded as the calm in the eye of the storm that is that Unnamed Department, and her co-workers draw strength from her sound judgment and steely resolve in times of apparent crisis. Flip Flop has developed a personalized working relationship with each member of the department, ranging from strictly professional to bordering on fraternal, that allows her to demonstrate a quiet leadership rarely seen in her position. It is these unseen emotional contributions that make Flip Flop’s impact on the department so difficult to put to paper. In fact, the only hesitation that I have in submitting this nomination is that Flip Flop may be too deserving; indeed, a dozen of these awards, which Flip Flop would undoubtedly win should she unexpectedly deign to remain in her current position, would still pale in comparison to the impact she makes on each of our lives each and everyday.

Raised amongst the depressing strip malls of Any City, Pennsylvania, Flip Flop’s family yearned for their eldest daughter to escape her suburban malaise, only to see those dreams shattered by her enrollment amongst thousands of like-minded youths at Unnamed University. Nevertheless, in 2005, Flip Flop brought a unnamed degree and a precocious professionalism to the position of Unnamed Department assistant at Any Company Corporation (henceforth ACC). Flip Flop faced the unenviable task of finding her professional footing while replacing an assistant who specialized in maintaining interdepartmental communication through daily personalized communication throughout the office. Undaunted, Flip Flop immediately displayed an unmatched aptitude for professional growth, quickly developing an office-wide reputation for her scheduling acumen. As easy in phone manner as she is on the eyes, Flip Flop created a personal rapport with power players throughout the city, putting them at ease with a courteous banter that reinforced the bonds of trust upon which ACC’s business relationships are built. In addition, it became abundantly clear in a matter of days that Flip Flop’s skills far outstripped her responsibilities, and she was soon integrating into the creative process an all-purpose copy writer and editor extraordinaire, duties for which she received universal acclaim and ultimately, a promotion to a full-time New Department position. While Flip Flop will undoubtedly focus her considerable efforts on training her successor to approximate in some limited capacity her everyday duties as Unnamed Department assistant, her personal skills are, to be frank, irreplaceable. Flip Flop’s loss will no doubt reverberate through the Unnamed Department, growing progressively more pronounced as the pages of the calendar turn. Perhaps this richly deserved award will serve as recognition for at least a fraction of what she has brought into all our lives.

Numbers.

These people link to So Unpressty (in addition to WTF, MWP, Smedelicious & Chris McK):

http://sparklingcipher.blogspot.com/
http://malaikasplace.blogspot.com/
http://bloggedy-blog-blog-saucy.blogspot.com/

And according to blog-tracking site Technorati, we are ranked 622,919 out of a possible 63 million blogs. Wowsers.

A day late.

I have some cousins (not you, MWP) who always know the latest in internet sensations. They were YouTube before YouTube was ever tubed. Two years ago at Christmas, they rediscovered the Muppets theme song "Menah Menah" or whatever it is, on the internet. The song became the theme of the holiday. Everyone kept saying "Menah Menah," whatnot.

Fast forward 2007. I am watching tv, as I am wont to do, and I hear in the background that familiar: do dooo do do do. Do doooo do do. Do dooo do do do, do-do-do, do-do-do, do-do-do, do-do MENAH MENAH.

I thought to myself, wow, these marketers are really behind on the ball. This song's revival of kitschy/cool was a few years ago.

Not two minutes later, I hear again: do dooo do do do. Do doooo do do... (and so forth)

But get this: it was a different commercial, for a different product. What the h? Are there so few cool jingles in the world that marketers all go after the same tired tune?

So unpretty.

An English Major's Nightmare.

Every time I ride in a Philadelphia taxicab, I burst into tears. I sob, tear at my hair, clasp my chest in agony. "Why, oh why must we show our ignorance to the world?" I sob.

The brand-spanking-new, high-tech, fancypants credit card machines just installed in each and every taxi in our fair city flashes a major grammatical error.

Until today, my sadness about this atrocity has kept me silent with grief. But I see that Phillyist.com has caught the error as well.

"Trips Over $25 Requires A Signature."

For shame.

Like Biting Into a Peach, Without the Pit (or Fuzz!)

As you may be aware, I love drinks. I am a sucker for marketing and will basically try any new low-calorie or calorie-free beverage once. Today was no different.

I was out to lunch and came across this new beverage in a bevy of flavors. It's called "O Water" and I tried the "Twist of Peach" flavor. And it's so good. It doesn't have any artificial sweeteners, so it doesn't taste weird or too faux-sweet. It's just really delicious.

Books. Check 'em out.

Communication for the Passive Aggressive

I never used to think I was passive aggressive. But, certain people in my life have made me this way since it is the only way they know how to operate. Anyway, this is an example of such an exchange. I reached a breaking point yesterday regarding a certain peeing dog. While I have fantasized about the passing of said dog, it really isn't his fault. So, I e-mailed his lazy, dim-witted owner (a.k.a. my roommate). Yes, we live together. Yes, I still e-mailed her my distaste for the current situation. Yes, this makes me passive aggressive. Disclaimer: I have confronted her in person before about the same issue. Draft one of the e-mail was nixed by Unusual due to content not suitable for children. She suggested a more watered-down version. I still had to be pretty forward/mean though, for messages that do not pack a punch have little chance of making it through the simpleton's thick skull. I haven't seen her since pressing send, but I really don't regret my actions. Bring it.

Cici’s Pizza IS Too Good To Be True

Have you seen the commercials for some pizza chain called “Cici’s Pizza”? They’re some restaurant that advertises all you can eat pizza, salad and dessert for less than $5! And, good customer service. I can’t tell you how sick & tired I am of getting snarled at by a CVS or fast food employee. Their tagline is that people think that it may be too good to be true.

Of course, after I saw this commercial I went to their website to check out where the closest restaurant was. Result – BALTIMORE, MD! Thanks, Cici’s. You got me all excited and there’s not a restaurant to be found. So, I guess I’ll go back to eating my $3/slice of Peace A Pizza until the wonderful day comes that a Cici’s franchise opens somewhere within the state of PA. Until then, Cici’s – please stop advertising in my TV viewing area.

In Less Than 24 Hours

i will be going to see justin timberlake.

i will be wearing the special outfit i put together, just for JT.

i will be dancing and singing his songs, while i watch him break it down.

i will be most likely crying, like i do everytime something moves me.

i will be drinking too much.

i will be laughing to myslef, because i will know that there is no way i can go into work the next day without a serious hangover.

i will never forget it. ever.

To the left, to the left. NO.

Hi, Americans? You live in America. So when you are walking down the street and accidently have a "cat and mouse" situation-- you know, when 2 strangers can't figure out how to walk past each other-- do as the CARS do and pass on the right. Ugh. It's so unpretty. Learn to walk. Learn to walk RIGHT.

For your listening enjoyment.

My life for the next three weeks:

Open Up and Say, "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

My heart was pumping. My pulse was racing. My palms were sweating. My gums were bleeding. I was at the dentist this morning.

I truly, truly do not mind the dentist. But in the past two years, every time I have gone, I have left with a follow-up appointment to have cavities filled. I blame my parents entirely. When we were younger, my entire Mom's side of the family went to her first cousin, who was a dentist. Now eventhough he had a treasure chest of toys to pick from when we were done, not one of my cousins or my siblings ever had cavities or needed braces or retainers. Miraculous. Italians must have exceptional teeth. (Sidenote: He never told us to floss, either.)

Lo and behold, as my Mom's cousin retired and we moved on to new dentists, we had a slew of problems. My one cousin has a mouth full of cavities, my other cousin has braces a month before her wedding, my sister had a bone extracted from her front gums that had only been seen in dental text books, and me.....well, I have cavities, too.

And now, at 26.5 years, I have to get my wisdom teeth out. In addition to going back in two weeks to have two cavities filled. GROSS. But I would rather this than dentures. Although dentures at 27 could be interesting. I could just get a full-blown grill!!

The hygenists, however, did tell me I was lucky because the oral surgeon is hot. Silver lining, anyone?

And Another Thing....

....I love Mexican food. Who doesn't?

This weekend, I went to dinner at a friend's house and she made enchiladas and a side of refried beans. Bangin'.

So, I took a chance when I was at Target last night grocery shopping (no laughing, it's incredibly cheap) and bought a can of Old El Paso refried beans. For dinner, I put half the can in a bowl with shredded cheese and salsa and added some tortilla chips. Awesome.

My boyfriend tells me it doesn't constitute a meal, because I actually made a dip. And he definitely has a point. But for someone who has been known to eat hummus and guacamole with chips for dinner, I am a-ok with my concotion.

Ole!

Can You Feel It?

Not to bite off of Miz Cynical's "Spring" post, but.....

This morning, my sister told me that the high was going to be about 70 degrees. So I took her advice and left my coat at home. And I was pleasantly surprised that I when I left my office at lunchtime, I didn't need it!

Y'all, I might be the first one to tell you this....but....spring has sprung. There is something in the air, perhaps a commitment from the weather gods that no longer will I leave my office on Friday and be pelted with ice balls. (Get your mind out of the gutter.)

Ooh, I love spring. Soon, I will be sitting on decks (hopefully), drinking margaritas, celebrating Beanorama's birthday, eating water ice with Beanorama in Rittenhouse Square, walking in flip flops, wearing skirts, getting tan, getting sunburned, having mosquito bites, complaining about humidity, running outside, driving to the beach, asking my sister, "WHERE'S THE EZ-PASS??" and oh-so-much-more.

I love you, spring.

Baby's First Concert

I am more than a little excited to go to The Fray concert in June. Unusual and I will be attending with my 16-year-old sister and her friend (my sis' first concert). My parents are nervous. And they should be. I've been waiting a long time to corrupt my awesome, but nerdy, little darling. I call her my better half, but I am definitely her funner half. Yes, I know funner is not a word. I'm so excited that I hardly care that I'm designated driver. It's not consuming my mind at all. Sidenote: The last concert I remember clearly without an alcohol-induced haze is Boyz II Men in 5th grade. Anyway, it will be great. Look forward to a June 25th post with all the details!

Damn you, American Idol!

Ok. I HATE American Idol, but I have to admit that there have been some American Idol finalists/winners that have caught my attention & now reside on my Itunes.

It started with Justin Guarini (you won't be laughing after you hear his ballad "Sorry"). I heard it on the radio twice and decided to join the other 49 people on the planet by buying his CD.

Then, it was Kelly Clarkson. After seeing her video on MTV, I can belt out "Since You Been Gone" with the best 15 yr. old fans. Or, "Behind these Hazel Eyes". However, I don't think that I can sing with the same heartfelt sincerity as that the chick in the fitting room beside me at Loehmann's over the weekend.

Now, it's Chris Daughtry. I heard his song "It's not Over" on MTV in between Real World/Sweet Sixteen marathons. I'd like to see the genius who thought of that idea - "hey, since we don't play music videos anymore, why don't we squeeze them in while credits are rolling up the screen for our new reality show 'We're underage, juvenile delinquent cousins & we're marrying each other' ? Anyway, I haven't heard the entire song yet (those credits go by pretty quickly), but I want this one too.


Who knows what's next? At this rate, I might wind up buying some Taylor Hicks crap. Then, I'll be a-boppin' & a-twitchin' my way around while listening to my Ipod.

SOUL PATROL!

Girly Post #2: Why is it......?

Is it just me or on the days that you have the least amount of time to get ready in the morning is the day that you manage to pull off looking your best? Like, a day when you spend your morning applying makeup on the bus on the way to work because you had to run out the door. And then someone compliments you on how good you look & you’re thinking “ thanks, I nearly put my eye out this morning while trying to apply mascara & curl my hair at the same time. Oh, and I got run over by a truck on my way to work. But, I'm glad that on today of all days I'm compliment-worthy”.

The picture in this post is of Pam Anderson, who definitely should not leave the house without makeup.

I Love You, I Hate You

what i love: the little triangle shaped pepperoni slices on top of my stouffer's french bread pizza.

what i hate: spoken word poetry.

what i love: the smell of my dog's gas.

what i hate: the smell of anyone else's (besides my dog's) gas.

what i love: when someone scares the shit out of me.

what i hate: when beanorama sings songs about me when i'm stressed out.

what i love: so unpretty.

what i hate: having to stop what i'm doing just to go pee.

Seriously, What the Fuck Is Wrong With Them?

why are the olsen twins so fucking weird? they have access to everything life has to offer and this is how they turned out?



i guess the lesson learned here is this: a decade of playing michelle tanner can really mess you up for life.

p.s. hey MK and Ash: here's an idea...try separating from each other for a little while and attempt to develop individual lives. maybe once you have a chance to get through a day without staring at your own weirdo reflection, you'll see how normal people really look and behave. just a thought. what do you think?

I Have No Self Control

someone help me i just ate an entire box of gushers and each box contains six pouches and each pouch contains about 6-9 gushers and i can't stop rambling and my mind is racing and i think the sugar has gone to my brain but they taste so frigging good i would do it again, again i tell you, i would eat gusher after gusher with absolutely no remorse why, god, why are they so damn good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You Put Your One Leg In...You Take Your One Leg Off

last night i watched dancing with the stars. i am not proud, so stop laughing. i will tell you however, that it was just something i could not resist. a friend of sounpretty who we will just call "Mc" pitched the show to me last week and talked it up so much i just had to give it a whirl.

i will first admit that i did not see the whole first hour (yes, first!) because i had no idea it was a friggin TWO HOUR special. that's a lot of time to ask of a viewer. but when you are watching D list stars prance around out of step and out of shape, time can fly by i guess.

now comes the part where i really spill the jelly beans. i honestly watched this show so i could see heather mills dance. you may or may not have been awake for the last few years so let me remind you who she is: she is a former model and former wife of paul mccartney. and she happens to have only one leg. the other ENTIRE leg is a prostetic.

i think she did a good job. she looked beautiful as ever and the leg looked fabulous-its tanned and toned and the toenails are even painted. totally what i would do (and yes, one should at least consider what life would be like minus a leg or an arm-it keeps you grateful).

Homecoming.

I’m home
I’m here
Now don’t you fear
I’m back in the office, Unusual, dear

I know that you missed me
I know you were scared
But I’m singing you songs again
In this office we’ve shared

Texas was coolio
Texas was neat
But Texas can’t compare
With the stench of your feet

Austin had nothing on voicemails galore
Or on cheesecake in the kitchen
Or on Flip Flop, that whore

I’m home
I’m here
Now don’t you fear
I’m back in the office, Unusual, dear

Little People Feet Are Cute

i totally crossed the line recently when i sneakily took a cell phone pic of a little boy's feet on the el last week, but i couldnt help myself. look how cute?

all my life, i always wanted small feet, but alas, my creator decided against that. i used to cry to my aunt about it all the time and she pointed out that since i'm 5'10", if i had small feet, i likely would fall over all the time. she was so smart.

I Think I Saw Donald Trump at WAWA

ok, so i knew nobody would believe me but i have a cell phone picture for proof. i think i was behind donald trump's car as he exited my neighborhood wawa this weekend.

i think he was getting a toasted italian shortie hoagie. but, i heard when the girl forgot his hot peppers, he fired her.

Girly Post #1: The burning means that it’s working

I decided to call this post a girly one because I know that our male SoUnpretty readers would not be able to relate. Anyway, I’ve been using chemical hair removers for a few months now (which is genius considering I have sensitive, easily irritated skin) just because it’s less hassle than shaving. Anyway, the biggest drawback is the horrible “OMIGOD, I think my skin is going to fall off” burning sensation that I get afterwards. The cold winter air hitting against my skin didn’t help matters.

But, over the weekend I stumbled across this Epil-Stop product at CVS. It claimed that it eliminates irritation & redness. Of course I was skeptical, but being the beauty product junkie that I am & willing to try anything at least once, I bought it. I’m happy to report that it works & I would totally recommend it if you use Veet (or something similar) & have the same bad skin reaction.

Or, you could just continue to shave & not put yourself through this torture at all.

Don’t Forget! 1st Day of spring = Freebie Wednesday!

Mother Nature may have reminded us that winter ’07 certainly was not going out like a lamb, but at least we have Corporate America to inspire us to look forward to spring. This Wednesday, March 21st is the official first day of spring. That means that in addition to warm temps (fingers crossed), Dunkin Donuts & Rita’s Water Ice will be giving away freebies.

Dunkin Donuts will be handing out free small iced coffees. It was about this time last year that Unusual got me hooked on Vanilla Latte Lites from a similar Dunkin Donuts freebie day. Rita’s Water Ice will be handing out free small water ices & I’m already jonesin’ for a mango water ice.

Yay spring!

Thanksgiving Dinner Tastes Good Anytime of the Year

why must we wait every third thursday in november for a delish turkey dinner? i don't think we should have to.

so yesterday, we made thanksgiving dinner for just two and it was amazing. instead of a whole turkey, we baked two turkey breast tenderloins. we also made stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, turkey gravy and of course cranberry sauce.

and true to thanksgiving dinner, there was even enough left over for my lunch today.

boo-yah!

My Boo is in Austin

the office is quiet
the office is still
my office mate is in austin
gone is the thrill.

she's probably on a plane
flying high in the sky
getting ready to "pr" SXSW
and i'm left here to cry.

come back beanie
come back soon
with shocking and fun tales
of wacky musicians and loons.

don't forget we miss you
don't forget to not look "too cute"
proudly represent the illadelph
or your job here is moot.

p.s. "Music of the Night" from Phantom just came on my itunes and now i'm crying.

Beware of the Ides of March

so, popsie creeped me out this morning when he whispered in my ear, "beware of the ides of march..."

huh? what the hell does that mean?

he wasnt sure...he just knew it was today and he thought that it was from Hamlet. i bet him he was wrong about hamlet. if he was right, i promised to wax only my left eyebrow.

phew! he was wrong. i did get curious though and looked it up. here's some interesting things to know about the ides of march, or march 15th:

Generally speaking, a term from the ancient Roman calendar. The Ides fell on the 15th day of March, May, July, or October or the 13th day of any other month. Thus the Ides of March was the 15th day of March.

Specifically, the term is best known because Julius Caesar was assassinated on the Ides of March in 44 BC.

Because of William Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar and its line "Beware the Ides of March", the term "Ides of March" has come to mean a foreboding of doom.

Thee Mighty Caesars, a garage/punk group fronted by Billy Childish, named an LP "Beware the Ides of March" released in 1985.

The Ides of March are celebrated every year by the Rome Hash House Harriers with a toga run in the streets of Rome, in the same place where Julius Caesar was killed.

Did you ever look so nice?

Isn't it like a breath of fresh air when you run into a person you know (well) on the street? I'm not talking seeing an acquaintence or an old classmate. I'm talking running into one of your boyz. Like today, I ran into Unusual outside the smoothie place on 18th Street. Since she is my office mate, I usually have SOME idea where she is, but it was a pleasant surprise. And one time I ran into Zhuny in TJ Maxx... and she was my roomie at the time.

It's the little things in life.

One of the Best Songs Ever-Buy it on itunes

"Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division

When the routine bites hard
and ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways,
taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart
again

Why is the bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
our respect run so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal
That we've kept through
our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again

Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings expose?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just can't function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart
again

Kilts Must Not Be Such Good Luck

not that i watch the show that consistently or anything, but tonight i watched the saddest thing happen on Deal or No Deal. (aside from howie mandell's demise that is).

i watched some shmuck contestant who donned a kilt for his 15 minutes of fame sell a MILLION DOLLAR case for just $81,000. true, he still walked away with $81K, but he had the effing 1,000,000 case!

sorry dude. that's going to haunt you for the rest of your life. much like genital herpes or a bad root canal.

to add injury to insult, howie was such a jerk off about it too. he was all like, "wow, you made such a bad deal!"

no shit, howie. thanks for the insight. they should proclaim you god. or dr. evil; which is my vote because that is who you resemble most.

My Saturday Night at the Mr. Gay Philadelphia Contest

and no, i'm not kidding. i did in fact attend this "event" and let me tell you, nothing can prepare someone for that kind of shit show.

i watched a dozen or so "contestants" prancing around in their underwear (and that was not in place of the swimsuit portion, it was in addition to it).

the q&a was incredibly ridiculoso. questions ranged from:

"what do you think is the most critical issue facing the GLBT community today?"

...to

"if you were a golden girl, which one would you be and why?"

the winner pictured above is andrew. i am sure dr. whiz is happy to hear that. congrats andrew. your gayness surpassed all of our expectations. represent philly as gayly as you possibly can!

photo courtesy of mr. chris sembrot (yes, i am sooo proud.)

Next Up For Rubity, aka Buggy.

If I did THIS, I could have my little Bug Bug near my heart at all times.

¡Muy Delicioso!

I think the picture says it all. What The F and So Unpretty contributers (and friends) went to Drinkers last night to indulge in their $1 taco special. They also had $5 pitchers of Miller Lite. I was impressed. Tacos were delish. Beer tasted great, but was less filling. Good eats, good drinks. What more could one ask for? Oh right...does anyone have any Tylenol?

My Next Jake G.,...Justin Theroux

so, i have a knack for spotting the goods before other people do. i saw it in jude, vince, and most successfully, in jake gyllenhaal. now, i'm seeing it in actor/director Justin Theroux.

hotcha-mama. where did i first see him? he played brenda's love interest for a couple of episodes in Six Feet Under and he also was in a bunch of a other flix, but never as a lead. if you're really interested, "imdb" his cute ass and you will be shocked by how many movies he has been in that you have probably seen.

i recently read an article about him, and learned he is now directing his first movie starring my all time girl crush, the lovely Mandy Moore. the movie is called Dedication and it sounds very Garden State-ish.

looking forward to it. but i'm also looking forward to seeing more of JT.

and speaking of JT, its not much longer until i see THE JT, as in Justin Timberlake, in concert on March 27th. march is really shaping up to be a sexy son-of-gun.

"Dinosaurs" - Do you remember this show?

Last night, when my mind was racing with random crap at 3:45 a.m. I just happened to remember this show. I used to love it, especially the smart ass baby who would obnoxiously yell "not the mama!" every time his dad tried picking him up. The baby was like an early 90s Stewie Griffin before there was Family Guy. They were a family of lovable, ugly -looking characters. It wasn't exactly a kid show despite the appearance, kinda similar to the Simpsons.

Hah.... the good 'ol TV days.

P.S. - in case you haven't figured it out yet, I could probably name some of the most random canceled TV shows.

All I can say is...

... Wowsers. Who knew people besides my mom and JMoney read So Unpretty? And think my opinions are valid? I'm shocked.

http://urgh.wordpress.com/?s=unpretty&submit=Submit

Thank you, MTV.

Thank you, MTV, for putting Season 1 of The Hills on DVD. And thank you, Netflix, for carrying it right away. I finally get to see this oft-touted reality/drama! And from Season 1 Disk 1 I've learned a few things:

1. Ah ha! Now I know what it means when my friends say, "Heidi, can you get me a saandwissh?"

2. LC and I have the same Ikea bed & the same L'Oreal mascara. It's nice to know she's low rent like me-- in those 2 ways at least.

3. Notorius ALG always wants to see more of Whitney, and now I see why. She's nice and pretty! And calm.

4. On Jason's infamous birthday, when he is an infamous dick, he keeps getting up from the dinner table. Twenty bucks says he's got a little coke habit, eh?

Mama Needs a New Dress

so, i'm going to a wedding on st. patty's day and i need a new dress. i need to look beautiful, but approachable...classy, but humble...

who am i kidding?

i want to look like a gorgeous, saucy, too-good-for-you, bitch.

but, what's a girl to wear? i need your e-pinions. post 'em up.

sincere thanks to those who try to help. except to jmon, who no doubt, will be an arse.

Doing My Part.

Yoko Ono Knows Snow

Listen, the snow is falling o’er town,
Listen the snow is falling ev’rywhere.
Between empire state building
And between trafalgar square.
Listen, the snow is falling o’er town.

Listen, the snow is falling o’er town,
Listen the snow is falling ev’rywhere.
Between your bed and mine,
Between your head and my mind.
Listen, the snow is falling o’er town.

Between tokyo and paris,
Between london and dallas,
Between your love and mine.
Listen, the snow is falling ev’rywhere.

Snowfling, snowfall, snowfall,
Listen, listen,
Listen, baby,
Listen.
-Song by Yoko Ono

Pass the Jawn

At the EOD yesterday, Jmoney, Unusual and I had a conversation that reminded me of the lazy days of summer in Dub C. We were talking about the evolution of newspaper writing and reporting. Here are some of the most insightful comments from the discussion:

"I wish we worked at a newspaper in the 70s so we could say stuff like 'What's the scoop?'" (in a 70s-newspaper-reporter voice and doing a 70s-newspaper-reporter walk while pretending to smoke a cigar)

"Can you believe they didn't have the Internet. Like how did they find stuff out?"

"And college. How did people write papers?"

"That's like cell phones, man. What did people do before cell phones? If the three of us agreed to meet outside the Gap at 7:00 on a Friday, what would happen if someone was late?"

Recommendation.

Beanorama bullied me into getting back on this blog and posting, so I will. SHE'S BOSSAY! I don't really have anything noteworthy to say, so let's just listen to each other breathe......

Actually, I do have one thing. On a day like today, chapped anything is your worst enemy. I have chapped arms. Gross. Check out Johnson & Johnson Soothing Naturals balm. It's in the baby care aisle. And it smells so good! Babies have the best products (wipes, anyone??!) and have all the fun. Especially Bendy.

Holy Serial Killer Part Deux

thought some of you would be interested to know that since i have seen Zodiac i have been annoying flip flop girl and popsie with my new found investigative tactics that i picked up from the film. they are way over me psychologically analyzing their handwriting, their emails and basically trying to penetrate their thoughts.

i am so damn impressionable. why do i watch movies and then try to make them relevant to my life? so unpretty.

as unpretty as the time i had a bad day and equated myself to tom hanks' character in the movie Philadelphia. i know. i suck.

How Low Can I Go?

I haven't gone grocery shopping in weeks. It's getting pretty pathetic. I am out of maccaroni, which is a staple I always have at my house. The sad part is that I try not to eat out, so I am pretty much stuck with whatever is in my fridge. And, I eat all the time (hence why I have no food left). Knowing that I have no food doesn't stop me from looking for it every 20 minutes. Anyway, looks like I'll be eating stale corn flakes tonight.

The First State

The D-Ware is in the house! The movie house, that is. Check it, check it, check it out:

Dewey Beach Movie

and

Wrestling The Movie

Kids: Mommy's a Whore

On the way to work this morning, my shuttle bus pulled up beside this woman in a minivan. Pretty common thing, I know, but what perplexed me is the fact that this woman had about a dozen or so Mardi Gras beads hanging from her rearview mirror.

I'm used to seeing the usual crap hanging from the rearview - Jesus pictures, Jesus fish, air fresheners & the like - but Mardi Gras beads? My mind instantly conjures up what a woman has to do to "earn her beads". Then, I think about the fact that this woman is driving a minivan & is probably a mom.

Is this minivan driving momma a little wild? Or, am I putting too much thought into it & she just likes tacky, plastic beads as car decoration? Or worse, she's just pathetic & wants me (or anyone else that sees her boring minivan) to think that she's a wild momma?

Hey God, What's Up With This Weather?

Geez, JC (wait-was that just repetitive?)

what's up with the weather lately...you trying to give us all pneumonia? first its warm and sunny, then its cold and windy, then its sun showers, then its flurries. i scarcely can believe it or trust that my immune system can handle it.

but i use this opportunity to wonder to myself and to all of you...does weather really play that much of a role in causing sickness? i mean, don't you get sick from germs, not rain, sleet or snow?

this is troubling and weird. and the answer could potentially deem this post useless. yikes!