Signs of the Apocalypse

Alright, normally, I’m not one of those people that thinks that every catastrophe that occurs in nature or the news is a sign that the world is coming to an end, but I think that I’m onto something here. There have been a lot of signs pointing to the universe as we know it completely collapsing in on itself.
Here’s my evidence, you be the judge.
1) Heidi Montag is reportedly offered $500,000 to pose for Playboy. While worldwide, the economy is being hit by record unemployment rates, this pseudo-celeb is offered way too much money for something that she does for free - whoring herself out - everyday.

2) Spencer Pratt has a song. Remember the days of artists telling stories about how incredibly difficult it was for them to get a record exec to even listen to their demo tape, let alone a recording contract? Somehow, this non-talented jerk has managed to get into a recording studio & lay down a track. Or, maybe I’m assuming too much & this guy was able to do it using a Casio keyboard, his IMac & a boombox. This is the music that will be playing when locusts start attacking. Hell, his creepy flesh-colored beard is enough to convince me that he’s the son of Beelzebub.

3) President Barack Obama is denied an honorary degree from Arizona State University. While the country’s economy is still reeling from having a real-life version of Yosemite Sam as president for 8 years, one of the nation’s top party schools says that they feel Pres. Obama hasn’t “accomplished enough” to earn an honorary degree. Unlike celebrities like Oprah, who go from university to university every graduation season collecting honorary degrees like they’re KFC coupons or Grammys, Obama has accomplished enough academically (& hello, he’s president of the United States of America!) to be awarded an honorary degree from any university. It doesn’t matter though; Obama would probably use that degree to clean up after his dog.

So, if you don’t feel as though these aren’t signs of some very bad times, then keep your eyes peeled ‘cause I’m sure there are more signs just around the corner!

P.S. - I hope the clip that I included is the song. I can't actually bring myself to listen to this, so I'm not sure.