yes, i've always been a material girl...i remember at age six,dancing on top of the toilet in our bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror as I mouthed the words to "lucky star" with brightly painted red lips and a fake black beauty mark that looked more like an oil spot. yeah, i was hot...in that child pornography way that young girls dressed up as older women look.
when i think about how long i've loved madonna, its shocking to realize that i have loved her longer than most people in my life...true, my love for madonna is a different type of love.
i like, sorta love my family (because i have to), but i LOVE madonna (of my own free will).
for instance: madonna has never grounded me, told me i'm selfish, made me go to school, made me do the wash, told me i can't afford to have that hot-ass bag, freaked out at me for silly things like forgetting to get gas ALL THE TIME or for refusing to admit when the trash can is full and it should be emptied (i'm not lazy, i just believe in squeezing as much trash as possible into each trash bag-we have to start thinking about the environment people; global warming!)
with love comes loyalty. i remember in the sixth grade standing by madonna when all of my other friends were on paula abdul's jock. they would say things like "madonna is so trashy...paula is a really good dancer" -yeah, paula's ability to dance with a cartoon character in a video should have just shut me up, but i was a stubborn little bitch and well, i never bought it. i would always say "you'll see, madonna will always be cool and paula abdul will end up judging some corny singing contest, like star search!"
even at twelve, i was fucking genius.
but, why, you may ask yourself, am i sharing with you now my adoration of this music goddess? well, bitches, its because i am one step closer to finally realizing a life long dream of mine: on monday i scored tickets to my first ever madonna concert! i can't tell you how excited i am.
i must say, i do feel bad for whatever poor fucks have to sit near me that night... they will just have to make room for me and my toilet, which i'll be dancing on top of as i annoyingly try to sing along to every friggin tune she'll bless us with that enchanted evening. its going to be so unpretty...
5 comments:
"told me i can't afford to have that hot-ass bag"--don't blame me! I didn't tell you not to buy it! Plus, I am not related to you.
you still like maddona??? (thats how i spell it. wanna fight about it?) i hope you fall off that toilet and hit your head on the sink, knocking maddonna out of your head.
Unusual- if you need to fall off a toilet, come to my stidio apt where you have to sit sideways on the toilet. It makes falling quite convenient.
yes, unfortunately, i'm already aware of that-i think your bathroom was designed for someone who either has no legs or for someone who never grew bigger than an 8 year old
Yeah, Jeff has 9th Row seats...I told him you might kill him in his sleep and take the tickets
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