Check Yo' Self

hi. let me introduce myself. i am (proudly) one of those freaky people you will come across in life who truly loves the abnormal. and by abnormal, specifically, i mean the things other people do not tend to love. in fact, they probably loathe.

for instance: airport security check points. can't get enough of 'em.

let me explain this before you stop reading because you think i am half lit.

i am a very...[dramatic pause and emphasis on the next word]...VERY nervous flyer. mostly because i don't have wings.

ever since terrorism has become a fact of life, its been pretty bad. aside from flying with a sane partner and medication, the only other thing that makes it bearable to board a plane is feeling as though i and all those who will be boarding the aircraft have been put through the ringer while checking in. this may be a false sense of security, but so is social security. suck it.

i was reminded of the warm feelings this happy chore fills me with this weekend. my favorite part is when you and all these strangers around you have to take their shoes off. how many times in your life have you found yourself standing around in your socks with a bunch of strangers otherwise fully dressed? not many, i would bet. and its sorta fun. its like we all feel vulnerable and stupid and there is nothing really can really do about it except smile, pretend its normal, and discreetly check each other's sock patterns out.

oh, and how can i forget? the next best part is watching the bitch and the jerk who consider this a MAJOR INCONVENIENCE are always the chumps who get the full bag search. i love watching them silently huff and puff as a guard completely empties out their personal belongings and inspects their diaper rash ointment and tampons in front of everyone in line.

so great.