Me Gusto

me gusto verrryyy mucho
sorry to interrupt ash, but that acceptance speech... i will not be crass, but hubba hubba.

p.s. obvs this pic is not from tonight. but who cares.

And the winner is...

Miss Tennessee!

pictured: katherine heigle, who apparently got her hair done by Ms. Truvy from Steel Magnolias.

I'm Annoyed at Nic

Nicole! its OKAY to be preggers and have a baby bump!

people know its a baby inside you, not a beer belly. you don't have to drape yourself in black, wear outrageous necklaces that distract and confuse the eye, and worst of all pose like you're laying an egg so that your tum tum doesnt stick out.

UGH!

Diablo Cody Doesn't Like Money

the caption for this photo should be "The Look for Less: How to stretch a $20 bill at Deb Shop!"

but here is the real caption...this is Juno writer, Diablo Cody on the red carpet. i get that Di-Di is an independent thinker and an acclaimed writer who wants to assure all of her fans that her recent success has not gone to her head...or her feet.

see, diablo had agreed to wear the famous million dollar pumps designed specifically for her by stuart weitzman tonight. every year, stu picks a star to wear them. but in the past few days she has blogged about a change of heart.

"I'm actually really pissed about this, now that I think about it. They're using me to publicize their stupid shoes and nobody asked me. I would never consent to a lame publicity stunt at a time when I already want to hide. I'm sorry if I sound like a party-pooper, but Jeebus."


unrelated fun fact: diablo used to be a stripper. i know, you're like "NO!"

he he he he.

So Busted

i am only on page 500 of 122,054 of Pillars of the Earth, and instead of catching up on my reading before next sunday's book club meeting, what am i doing? i'm live blogging about the Oscars!!!!

(i secretly am not sorry).

Can Old Broads Look Good on the Carpet?

well, it Depends...

ha ha. get it?

well, one old broad that's keepin' it real is helen mirren. you a sexy queen, girl. we can't even see your diaper lines.

Life's Not Black and Red

well, scratch that-red carpet life is! the obvious trend this year is black or red gowns.

my fave so far is marion cotillard, nominated for best actress (la vien rose). movie was awesome and so is she. and she stands out in a lovely white dress by gaultier. this rose doesnt need to be red.

Countdown to the Oscars

I saw this gorgeous picture of Rumer Willis & it reminded me that the Oscars are on Sunday. The pic is gorgeous 'cause of the dress, ignore the man-jaw having Rumer Willis wearing it. It's so old Hollywood glam. I kind of feel bad, Rumer should have just let her mom, Demi, wear the dress. It's kinda sad when your mom's looks & physique can carry an ensemble better than you can.

Anyway, the Oscars are on Sunday & I hope that we'll get a chance to see more glamorous dresses. I think that due to the recent ending of the writer's strike that this year's Oscars are going to be a lot more low-key, but I'm hoping that the celebs will bring their wardrobe "A" game.

Anyone live blogging on Sunday?

Not That I Ever Thought Otherwise.....

But I am so Italian sometimes, it scares me. Last weekend, I visited a barbershop with my boyfriend and cried when I walked in and they were playing Frank Sinatra. And it wasn't in that "Ciao Bella!" "Viva Roma!" cheesorama way. It was authentic and Lou the barber told me to say hi to my grandmother for him.

Sunday, my Mom and sister ate bruschetta, mozzarella, and olives at a bridal shower and went visiting my first cousins. I considered stopping at my grandmother's grave to say hi.

Today, I went to my Mom's house for lunch. I ate some dried figs, some roasted red peppers on italian bread, and Torrone, the most delicious nougat and almond Italian candy. It's so good. A quick search on Google told me they sell it at DiBruno's.

I will probably make a trek there this weekend. But I won't share any with my Mom because she gave up candy for Lent. She might just have to settle for some polenta.

I'm So Unhip

So, today I decided to treat myself to a mani-pedi. While I was contemplating what colors to choose, I decided to finally take the plunge & go with the trend of deep color for my nails. I've been dwelling on this issue for a while now. While I like the look of dark nails, I never thought that I had the coloring to pull it off. Plus, I'm much more of a light, or pink nail color or a French manicure & saving the bold, bright colors for my toes. Well, after seeing the results of dark color on my nails, I'm hooked on this vamp look.

Unfortunately, it's too late. In addition to spring being right around the corner, as I was waiting for my nails to dry, I was glancing through People magazine. According to their style gurus, shades of pink, purple & grey are the new nail colors of spring. Oh, well. I guess I'll just enjoy this color for the next couple of days & hope that I can get in on the trend next winter.

Gross. But Funny. Thanks Jezebel.com!

Tampires

Five Pounds, Six Ounces of Power Baby!

Not that awesome.

So last night when I got home I hear my neighbor giving relationship advice in his apartment, so, naturally, I thought I should knock on the door and invite myself in. What to my wondering eyes did appear, but a gorgeous 22 year old Indian (the lovesick one) and a hookah-smoking Persian (the neighbor). So I settled in with some cardamom (sp?) tea from the Persian and some mango hookah.

"Do I smoke it like a bong or like a cigarette?" was my question [not that I would know how to smoke a bong, for the official record].

So I smoked it like a cig. And waited for the excitement. And waited. And nothing. It really wasn't that thrilling. All I wanted was a little buzz like I got from packing bandits at the Darth Vader house in highschool.

(But I did get upset that I could hear my little Rube meowing through the door and I hope she doesn't do that all the time.)

PS: Doesn't this hookah hookah look like Julia Stiles?

Oh, SHUT UP!

michael kors. you are such a big mouth! project runway needs a makeover and they need to start with him. get dontella versace on the phone asap. now, she would be a bitch i'd like to see on the regular :)

Gentlemen Prefer Lohan

boobies. boobies. boobies.

(insert drooling noises here)

here are two pics of lindsay lohan posing as marilyn monroe for new york magazine. there are many more. she's on the cover too. but these two pics are the best at featuring Lee-Low's greatest assets. the perfect (and au natural) breasts.

oh, how i covet thee.

If You Heart Andy Samberg Like I Do...

An SNL Digital Short poking fun at Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad statement "There's no homosexuals in Iran." Features Adam Levine of Maroon 5, Jake Gyllenhaal, and the ever-hilarious Andy Samberg.

Contest - Vegas, According to Mom

I've told a few stories about my mom that should give you some insight into her weird mind.

Guess how much money she gambled while she was in Las Vegas for three nights.

Some background: She was there for my sister's volleyball tournament. There were other adults/parents there. She lifted her 20-year ban on gambling for this trip. (She had made this rule after losing $100 in 30 minutes in AC 20 years ago.) Of the famous fountain show at the Bellagio she said, "I could've just watched the end of Ocean's 11 for the same effect."

Winner receives a hug.

Justice, Nun Style

I'm going to try to make this story short. My mom and sister got home after 2:00 a.m. on Monday night/Tuesday morning from a vball tournament in Vegas, so my mom let Ali, my sis, sleep in and go to school late. She called the school to inform them. Then, she got a text from Ali that said that she had gotten five demerits for tardiness. My mom was so angry because she had called and thought there was no reason for disciplinary action (plus she was cranky yesterday). Taking the advice of a school administrator, she e-mailed the principal, Sister Maureen. Well, don't mess with Team God! My sister was pulled out of class and berated for using her cell phone in school. My mom received a very pleasant e-mail from Sister Mo saying that she would take away the demerits, but that she was very disturbed by Ali's blatant disregard for the school policy on cell phones. That was probably the first time that both my mother and my sister got in trouble from a teacher. Nerds.

Yeah, I was a bad ass.

Finally! Bedding is on its way.

So I finally picked a duvet cover. You know I was stressed about this issue. And I must say, I must have taste b/c I apparantly picked the "centerpiece" of Dwell Studio's 2007-08 collection, Hedgerow in Saffron. As soon as I stopped being cheap I found something I liked.

It helps to have a designer as a "friend" and to read design blogs like Apartment Therapy and Design*Sponge. (And design sites like Design Public and 2Modern.)

Let's just hope the Rube doesn't eff it up.

Another Hills shout out!

Yes, this is the place where Heidi and Spencer ran into LC and Jason for the first time right after Jason got out of rehab.... It was sooo cool to see it... Yes, nerd alert...

Go team LC!

OMG!!! Here's a preview of third season of THE HILLS!!

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

I CAN'T WAIT! I know, it's sad.... :(

12 Days Till Book Club!

hope you've been doing your homework! the first meeting for So Unpretty's book club will take place in 12 days.

as you know we are reading Ken Follett's, "Pillars of the Earth".

if you want to geek out, check this out and take some quizzes.

see, mom...reading is fun!

The Hole Story

Maybe I should have heeded the advise of this photo and grabbed a cupcake last night at 1:30 a.m. when my upstairs neighbor was keeping me awake with enough noise to make me think she and four friends were dancing along to ONJ's "Physical" video. But instead I reached in my closet for my broom, held it firmly in both hands, and whacked it against the ceiling. And down came the spackle (or whatever my ceiling is made of). Yep, I made a nice hole about two inches in diameter. The best part was explaining my late-night rage to Angelo, maintenance extraordinaire, this morning.

The Real Meaning of Valentine's Day

Sorry, I should have posted this yesterday.

On my way to work on V-Day '08, I was shocked to find what seemed to be the evidence of an early holiday celebration. A pale pink thong sat brazenly on the Walnut Street sidewalk. From just a glance, I am pretty sure it was the Gap Body classic lycra string bikini thong. I assume it all started when someone said "Happy Valentine's Day" to the underwear owner - you know how that makes women lose all control.

You too, Feisty, you too.

What's the big deal?

So, today I have already gotten two half-assed Valentine's Day wishes from boys. One was from a friend who said "Happy Thursday." The other was from a boy (who I have kissed a lot), and his said "Happy Day."

Seriously? Adding in the word "Valentine" isn't going to make me think you're proposing. Stop being lame.

Love, Beanorams

PS: Happy VALENTINE'S Day to our faithful unpretty readers!
PPS: Please, never say VALENTIME'S Day. Right, ALG?

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.....

I took a plane to Tennessee yesterday.

Then I took another plane to North Carolina.

Then I took a plane to Philadelphia.

Then Philly Car Share back to my bf's apartment.

Then a cab to 30th Street.

Then a train to Wilmington.

Then a cab to my house.

Then my car to work.

Ah.

Notorious is tired.

I'm Dumb. Again.

ok, not so much dumb as i am clumsy and careless. i was out last night having several celebratory birthday drinks with a friend. i took a taxi home in the pouring mixture of ice and rain. when we got to my house i slipped my cell phone in my pocket while i counted out the fare and got out my keys.

apparently as i slid across the cab seat to get out my phone slipped out of my coat pocket.

some man named david and his drunk girlfriend took it home with them and had a REALLY hard time figuring out how to answer my tricky tricky TV phone.
david told me he lives near by and i can pick the phone up today but not to call til 1oam.

he's tired.

*the reason for the "again" in the title comes from the fact that i have lost whatever cell phone i was carrying at the time at least 7 times in recent history. and broken about 5.*

WTF, I thought Jerry had a job....

If not, will someone please hire him?

Hi, I'm Turning Into Cameron's Clone

pictured: Jessica Biel at an awards ceremony this weekend
justin has apparently been giving her fashion tips...

I'm not one to gossip, but...

Did anyone notice the awkward moment during last night's Grammy Awards? No, I'm not talking about when Kanye started talking to his mom - not about her, to her. Nor am I talking about the fact that everyone turns a deaf ear to Fergie's subpar voice. I am referring to Rihanna and Jay Z's win for "Umbrella." First, Riho went to Jay's seat to walk up on stage together, and she totally ignored Beyonce, who was standing right next to her man. A blatant dis. Then, she tried to hold his hand on their trek up the stairs, but he shook it away, which made for a painfully obvious weird moment between them - and all American viewers. Then there was some playful flirting during the acceptance speech. I felt uncomfortable just looking at the screen.

Lisptick Jungle...eh, not so bad.

NBC's answer to ABC's sucky Cashmere Mafia is not so bad. its also not so good. its just...eh. i feel like the writers strike has skewed my perception of good and bad TV.

Lost however is amazingly amazing. amazing.

P.S. this picture is awful though, isnt it? brooke sheilds needs to close her legs, and they all need to stop acting like they are made of spaghetti. its not sexy or cute. i can almost hear the creative director on this shoot shouting, "Come on ladies, sultry! sexy! sedated!"

Creepola.

My boyfriend and I went to see Juno yesterday and no surprise, I absolutely, positively loved it. I was very happy that I loved it and not let down like, per se, Superbad.

What did let me down was mother effin' Jason Bateman's character. (SPOILER ALERT!) I have always thought he was hilarious and seemed like such a nice guy. He was the only thing that was relatively funny about that Cameron Diaz/Christina Applegate/Selma Blair "girls" movie....actually, I liked Christina Applegate, too, but I digress....and he is great in Arrested Development. And of course, Dodgeball. He says the word "blumpkin" in a movie. That is classic.

Anyway, Juno was great. For a movie talker, I even zipped it and paid attention (and held my full bladder for 1.5 hours). I had to break the silence though and say to said bf, "Something is creepy about Jason Bateman. It feels gross." And lo and behold, his character did turn out gross.

It's okay. I will get over it and start loving him again soon enough.

Ode to Roy

i learned this morning that veteran actor, roy scheider, passed away yesterday at age 75.

i was so sad to hear this news. jaws is easily one of my all time favorite movies ever.

here's to you, roy, and here's to my favorite line of the movie:

"We're gonna need a bigger boat..."

Congrats, Amy, Sweet Amy

Yo, Aim.

no matter what you've been up to in the last 5 months in your personal life, i still love your music.

you have been my ringtone since last summer.

i bought tickets to your show at the tower theater, which you did not make it to.

i listen to your entire cd about once a week now, but last year, it was easily 2-3 times a week (nothings waning by the way, just trying to keep it fresh).

congrats on your 5 grammy awards. well deserved. your songs float around in my head quite often and there are times that i will think of a verse and see how amazingly poignant it is.

hope my country lets you come back sometime soon. i still want to see you live.

Ode to milk

Ahhh. Refreshing. Delicious. Perfect with an Entenmann's holiday cupcake.

I buy a gallon of milk at a time just for myself. I love it. I get excited to buy a new batch. Sometimes I eat simply so I can enjoy a cold glass of the white delight. So the answer is yes - I got milk.

A few of Alg's favorite things

Umbro shorts, blue sequin halter top, glitter makeup, adidas sandals.

Ah the fallback gift

Dear Dad,

I'm sorry that I am giving you cigars...again. And no, they aren't even your favorite ones. They were out of the Opus X brand that you love, so I chose from the Padron Anniversary series. I know that, on top of this, it is also disappointing to find only three cigars in the gift box. I am poor. Please keep in mind that you are one of the most difficult men in America to shop for. Happy birthday.

Love,

Flip

Poor Pup. Mean Man.

Adopt Me, Please?

This pooch is perfect for you! His name is Bean and he wants to give you love and affection. Check him out now.

Another Reason Why I (heart) Matt Damon

Since we're all in a video posting mood, I'm posting this gem. Just in case you haven't seen it or don't know what it's about - Matt Damon did this little skit with Sarah Silverman last week for the Jimmy Kimmel show. I already have a huge crush on Matt Damon, but this solidified it. I haven't seen him make fun of himself in this way since the movie Eurotrip. He's one cool,suburban dad.

Kids say the durndest things.

So, while we are posting cute videos of kids, I thought I'd throw this gem in. Hadleigh and Megan are my precocious, adorable, sweet, smart little second cousins. They adore High School Musical. It's worth it to watch this video... at least until Hadleigh asks her "question."

(Hadleigh is in a white shirt and pink pants. She's a little blonde gal. Her sis is in red shirt, brown pants.)

CHECK IT.

Yes, it's the return of THE DANCING QUEEN!

Jamil and I are all over this thing... No, we don't work for the Philly Marketing Group or anything but even my fly boots (R.I.P.) made a cameo!

What would Jesus advertise?

The church who advertised that they "Church is cool (and air conditioned too)" has put their marketing team to work yet again. This time they are appealing to the Web 2.0 crowd with this doozie:

Get connected.
With free wireless internet and with God.

Growing pains

About a week ago, my mother timidly asked if I would dog-sit for them so they don't have to board my poor pup. "No problem," I said. Then she informed me that the weekend in question is March 14-16. She said, "Think about it and give me an answer some other time." For any confused readers out there, this is St. Patrick's weekend. The actual day of observance is on Monday this year, so much of the revelry will take place during the weekend.

After a day of mulling over my decision, I agreed to trade in my green beer this year to watch Zip. This is a turning point. Mark the date.

The Stupid Thing Sherri Shepherd Said This Week, 2/4/08

The week is still early, so I'm sure after the Super Tuesday results are in, Sherri's bound to say something else dumb,like, "Oh... what do you mean Ross Perot isn't a candidate this year?" However, thanks to the friggin' Constitution & certian inalienable rights, Sherri Shepherd was allowed to vote & poll places had to allow her in. Here's what she had to say about her experience.

The Stupid Thing Sherri Shepherd Said Last Week, 1/28/08

Just in case you haven't seen/heard the most recent stupid thing that Sherri Shepherd has said, here it is. I have to warn you, it involves voting. The really scary part about it is that I'm not so sure that I want her to be involved with this very important democratic process. She's truly just too stupid to handle it. The major parts of this clip that will have you mystified is 1) how long she thinks that a Presidential term is, 2) how she has never voted & 3) how she thinks her d-list celeb status gaurantees her some kind of extension. Unfortunately, this clip doesn't show that later on in the conversation, her justification for not having voted during her lifetime is that she didn't know what day Election Day is! That first Tuesday in November is a brutal date to remember, I know.

She should definitely stick to stuff that she knows about. Later on on this episode, she & Elizabeth Hasselbitch demonstrate how well they know New Kids on the Block lyrics by heart. Voting? Not so much.

A Drinking Town With A Football Problem

i talked to my dad yesterday about the superbowl. he talked about how excited he was for the giants, blah, blah, blah. THEN he went on to say that he was happier this past sunday night following the giants win than he was two years ago when the steelers won the superbowl.

WHAT?! dad, i said, how is that possible? he is a superfan. this is the man that raised me and my sister - she is so addicted to the steelers she takes off work following games because they don't air in london until 1am sometimes.

he explained that when the steelers won he was just immensely relieved, he needed them to win so badly he couldn't even be happy when they did. but since the giants aren't really his team he could feel actual joy.

"dad, that is sick," i said.
"no, i talked to a buddy at work and he said the same thing!"

of course he did. they work in a steel mill in pittsburgh.

Be Still, My J.Crew-Loving Heart.....

Since the days of Barn Jackets and shetland crew necks, I have been in love with J.Crew. I faltered a bit in my early college days and tried other clothiers, but J.Crew kept me coming back. Do I think their increase in prices in the past two years is inappropriate? Yes. Does it make me mad that their final sale items sell out faster than I can add them to my shopping bag? Absolutely.

But as my dear friend Z said to me today, "Whoever they've got in there these days is working overtime...."

A sampling of how I will blow my paycheck next month/charge up my VISA/the reason I will live on tuna:

The Most Embarrassing Trash Ever

this is heidi montag's "finished" music video.
i don't even know where to start.
the music sounds like she pressed the demo key on her casio keyboard. the lip syncing doesn't even match up!

i think my favorite scenes are when she is lying on a beach towel next to a bottle of banana boat tanning oil. pure class.

oh, and the theatrics. i think michael k. from dlisted may have said it best... "the videos I used to make when I was 11-years-old had higher production values than this. This video is basically Girls Gone Wild without the emotional intensity meets those karaoke videos."

hilarious. "emotional intensity."

Premonition???

this weekend, i had an awful dream. nightmare really.

i dreamt that Feist killed herself! awful, i know. i loooove Feist. her latest cd is mad awesome.

in the dream, she killed herself, because she had been raped in the bathroom of a club she was performing in and she could not live with herself or face her husband.

i'm a real dramatic dreamer, huh? can you just imagine me as a kid? i cant.

The Aussie Omen?

Bindi, bindi, bindi...

at first, i thought you were effing adorable and sweet. my heart actually broke for you when your dad died. but then, i started to see a little red glare instead of childish sparkle in your eye. you seem a little forced. well, more than a little...almost programmed. programmed to take over the whole world. someday, you will sit on a throne of skulls, devouring all of our souls, one by one.

i shiver with fear every time you're on daytime t.v.

Motherly Love

as we all know, tonight was the superbowl. when i casually asked my mom tonight who she was rooting for, she promptly replied and with a sharp tongue, "oh, whichever team tom brady is NOT on."

this intrigued me. i didnt know my mom would even have an opinion, let alone such a specific and somewhat aggressive response.

"why's that?"

she shrugged her shoulders and wrinkled her nose and made a squeamish face. "he's just...TOO perfect. and i hate perfect people. except for you."

i considered it a compliment. sorry, tom.

Ring-what?

today a veterinarian came to my house and looked at one of my two cats for approximately 12 seconds before they both scratched, hissed and hid until he left.

during those 12 seconds and due to my very detailed descriptions of their condition the vet was able to diagnose my babies with ringworm.

ringworm! ew! so now we know where the scaly skin, non-stop licking and color-changing nose came from.

i have to go to a human pharmacy and request a prescription for a patient named "poki" bc they are able to take a human anti-fungal drug. (ringworm is actually a fungus, not a bug) that should go over well.

now of course they are sleeping like little angels and i just want to hug and kiss them... not without washing my hands immediately after - ringworm is quite contagious. :(

Why Aren't You Watching?

seriously. this show is perfect. but nobody watches. i know writers strikes don't help anything, but really... the new york times said, "this new drama about high school football could be great — and not just television great, but great in the way of a poem or painting."

washington post called it "extraordinary in just about every conceivable way."

time magazine said it was #4 on the list of top ten returning series.

and aside from all that it is just GOOD. sigh.

AND you can watch every singe episode of all two seasons (roughly 36 hours of excellent TV) here: http://www.nbc.com/Friday_Night_Lights/video/episodes.shtml