This is definitely one of those products that I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the commercial come on TV. I mean, how bad are things “down there” when you need a testing kit, swab, Petri dish, lab goggles and latex gloves to self-diagnose? Interestingly enough, Vagisil has a color-coded rating system that ranges in fairly appealing colors from yellow to blue to green. It looks more like a Ralph Lauren paint swatch. The numbers & descriptions that they use to correspond to the system are nice, too. Like, “if you’ve tested 1-4, you have a mild blah, blah, blah….5-7 “get your skank ass to the doctor at your earliest convenience…..” Of course, if I were the creator of this ingenious coochie meter, I would use the following descriptions to help diagnose a potentially diseased or just smelly lady. 0-4: Mild to serious yeast infection. Treat accordingly. 5-7: Hmmm… maybe you shouldn’t have taken the Duke Lacrosse players/Cheyney football team up on their offer of a free campus tour. 7-9: Holy shit! Is this what happens when you work at a Thai whorehouse for a year?! 10: Give up all hope. The CDC has been secretly notified of your location due to a GPS indicator on the box the moment you peed on the stick. They’re coming to quarantine your ass right now. Oh, and Pat O’Brian wants to know if you’re seeing anyone.
2 comments:
You have no idea how much this will come in handy for when I meet new ladies. I hook up with skanks if you didnt know.
Jmoney - i didn't know that, but I can't say that I'm surprised.
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