City Slicker

While I have only been a bonafide city girl since July 1st, I have noticed a slight change in my attitude. Three prime examples come to mind.

The other day I was walking down the street at lunchtime and talking on the phone. I have sooo many friends so I have to fit the calls in whenever possible. Anyway, up ahead I saw one of the cults-with-a-cause that rule the city corners during all heavy traffic times. This particular group was either collecting for the poor kids in Africa or a mayor-hopeful's campaign fund. They all sound the same to me now. So, as I approached the intersection, I was harrassed by one of the philantropists-gone-bad. He was in my face, waving a clip board and ranting and raving about how much good I can do by signing my life away. I literally took the phone away from my ear, stared at him, put my hand up between us and yelled, "Excuse me. That's enough!" Then, with my still-raised hand, I did the brush off motion. Although I later felt kind of bad for treating someone like that, I think it is ridiculous to get harassed by these virtual beggars, especially when I am obviously on the phone. I do my part for charity, but I draw the line at giving a 15-year-old stranger my bank account number.

My second example occured at Shop Rite a few weeks ago. After I bought my groceries and walked out to my car, I was appalled to see the piss-poor park job that was next to my space. The maroon van was literally about a foot and a half over the yellow line on my side, and its driver's side was so close to my passenger side that I am baffled at how the culprit (who I just know was at least 400 pounds) managed to get out of his/her car. And, it's not like the car on the other side was over thier line so they had no choice. After I checked for damages to my precious Accord, I found a piece of paper in my car and wrote "Learn to park!" and lodged it into their door handle. Coming from the girl who never honks in anger, this was a pretty bold move.

Another problem I have, which I know has been discussed on unpretty before, are the elevator abusers. The distaste I have for those who run for elevators has been a life-long one, but lately I have copped quite the attitude about it. When I was still a suburban snob, I would ignore any mess-in-heels running and screaming for the elevator, opting instead to let it close in her face. I could go on and on about how I feel about these people, but I will stick to my original point. Since I have moved into a city zip code, not only will I let the elevator close, but now I also give a dirty look to the person, acting as if the mere request for an elevator hold has ruined my 17-floor ride and my day. Additionally, when the doors shut, I will turn to whoever else in there with me (even if they fumbled around to try to hold the elevator) and say something cockey like, "I don't care. I never hold the door for anyone. Like, are you that important that you can't wait another few seconds for the next one?!" So far, this tirade as been met with nervous smiles, averted eyes and confused glances. Obviously, these people are suburbanites.