Shopping Connoisseur

A few pearls of wisdom from my mother, the market maven herself. As you read, please keep in mind that she is a successful business woman, a devoted wife and mother, a virtual taxi service for a very busy teenager, a volleyball player for an adult club, a sister, a daughter and a pet owner.

As I was walking out the door when I lived at home:
Mom: Where are you going?
Me: I have to pick up some sheets and bath towels for my new place.
Mom: I might have some coups. (her nickname for coupons)
Mom after handing over eight coupons: Store A takes expired and non-expired coupons. Store B takes coupons for Store A and Store C, but they can’t be expired. Store C won’t bend the rules at all. Store D will take Store A’s and Store E’s coupons, and they can be expired. They won’t take expired for Store C, and they won’t take any coupons for Store B. Store E only takes their own coupons, but if you find a better price somewhere else, you can take it back and they’ll match it. I don’t have any coupons for Store F, but I should be getting one within a couple weeks; so, if you take the receipt and coupon back then, they will honor the sale.

Phone call after moving into my new place:
Me: Mom, is $X/lb good for grapes.
Mom: You can find better this time of year. And, don’t be shy about not taking a lot of grapes. You can buy whatever amount you want. I don’t care if they prepackage them. I always take just what I need.
Me: That’s sick. Anyway, how can you tell if grapes are good?
Mom: Eat a couple.
Me: What?!?!
Mom: It’s ok. How else are you supposed to know? It’s either that or you have to return them when you find out they’re bad.
Me: You can’t return food.
Mom: Sure you can! Oh absolutely. If I buy something from Store L and then see it a couple days later on sale at Store M, I’ll return it.
Me: You probably waste more in gas by doing that.
Mom: No, I factor that in too. So, it has to be a decent-sized difference. Like a dollar or two.
Me: Ok what about this – 10 for $10 sales. Do I really have to buy 10 to get the sale?
Mom: No.
Me: What about sales like 2 for $6?
Mom: You can just buy one and still get the sale price, unless it says otherwise on the circular. But, you can’t get the sale price for “buy one, get one” sales. Unless you go to Store N. They are the only ones who do that.
Me: Ok.
Mom: You should really get in the habit of doing what I do – buy the Sunday paper on Saturday. Look at all the circulars and write on each one what you want from that store. Then, go through the coupons. They are in every Sunday paper. Clip the ones you will use and that way you can get even more money off. And, sometimes Store O has double coupon days. That’s the best!


Who has time to know this kind of stuff??? And, what exactly is the process to go about finding this out? Does she just test cashiers to see if they will give her her own way? It’s amazing – and not the good kind of amazing.