Sunday, September 10, 2006

You'll Never Take Me Alive!


it waits...patiently. it grows...slowly. it will soon be invading all of my sinuses, causing them to swell and sludge with thick, disgusting mucus. i have been valiantly fighting "something" for the last 3.5 weeks. but, i know, fighting is pointless. in the end, "something" always wins.

i am so sick of getting/being sick. i really hate it. i feel like once a month, i have "something". my office is like one humongous kindergarten class. we pass it around it like it's in our job description. the second i here a sneeze in the hallway, i start popping AIRBORNE. the moment i'm in a meeting and someone stops what they are saying in mid-sentence to clutch their throat and massage their glands, all with that repulsive look on their face, i start popping ZICAM AND AIRBONE.

it's always all for nothing, though. it may take weeks for me to finally succumb, but i always do. it's kinda like the lindsay lohan game of pretend-she can pretend for a couple weeks that she's not a crazy coke whore, but then BAM! a second later there's a two page spread with pictures in OK! magazine with her in a sex swing at the viper room, snorting a line of blow off a midget.

being sick...so un-un-un-ACHOO!-pretty.

4 comments:

Flip Flop Girl said...

You are a hypochondriac!!! I have known you for over a year and I am pretty sure that you have only been sick twice during that time (and, one of those times was your own fault because you bathed in flea poison). Talking about and being paranoid of getting the flu is not the same as actually having the flu. I will admit that you are sick, but not physically.

MJL said...

Did anyone think of Chilly Willy the Penguin during that last line?

I'm Chilly Willy the Penguin, I'm frozen through and through. My head is hot and my feet are cold...ha-he-HACHOO!

Anyone? Bueller?

Beanorama said...

that's news to me Marty. But I like it. Maybe you are just allergic, smasharoo.

Anonymous said...

maybe-or maybe you should all shut-up!