you won't see this type of thing on such a snarky, but fun-loving blog like "so unpretty" often, but i am a person who believes in giving credit when credit is due.
only a few of us know how "so unpretty" really came to be, and i thought that the time was right to post exactly who this blog is in honor of. (please humor my need to commemorate for just a moment; i promise not to bring everyone down for too long.)
her name was amy and she was many things to me...including my dearest and closest friend. this past thanksgiving day she would have turned 40 years old. even though she only had 39 years of wonderful to give us, the amount of things she taught me i could spend a whole lifetime looking to learn. she was an amazing human being; compassionate, loving, strong and spirited.
she could really work a room too. many of her friends would tell me that when they first met her they would feel two things immediately...they were usually intimidated by her striking beauty and fabulous sense of style, but then after the insecurity would wear off, they were won over by her genuine kindness and openness to making new friends. see, i believe those cheesy stories supermodels always recount on talk shows-you know them...that when they were little, they were ugly ducklings that were isolated from the cool kids and constantly made fun of. that's exactly what had happened to amy. in high school, she was tall and stick-thin..had frizzy, kinky curly black hair, braces, the whole nine yards. she never went to prom, or hung with the cool crowd. those years were hard ones. but once she finished school, she really started to come in to her own.
suddenly, being 5'10" and 130 pounds was more hot than odd. after the braces came off, amy had a smile that could knock a man over where he stood. finally, a hairstylist at a high-end salon in Center City explained to her that she had curly hair (not straight) and convinced her to throw away her hairbrush and taught her how to play her amazing locks up. hard-earned money from a full time job bought her nice clothes that showed off her enviable figure.
...but most importantly, only the outside changed. on the inside, she was the same amy. she never forgot what it had felt like to be teased or worse, ignored. and that's what people cherished most about her.
what did i cherish? her strength. our late-night talks over hot cups of tea. her sneaking me in to clubs when i was only 16. her introducing me to all of her unique and brilliant friends. our shopping sprees and movie nights. so much.
she died on september 30th from brain cancer. the doctors had told her when she was first diagnosed in April 2004 that she had 18 months to live. but, she proved them wrong and fought for nearly two and half years. see, that's when i got to see the fighter in her--the one that had gotten her through the first part of her life that i was not apart of.
i started writing on this blog about eight months ago, when things were really starting to speed down-hill for amy. the name of the blog-which some people swear is from a TLC song (and trust me, i love chasing waterfalls, but alas, its not the source). the title actually comes from an inside joke between amy and me. like i have said, we were very close...and when you are close to someone, you get to see them at times that very few people get to see them...like say for instance, first thing in the morning; before you wash your face, before you brush your teeth and hair, and apply make-up. we joked that while we loved one another very much and wouldnt change a thing about each other, and while we definitely were not ugly, first thing in the morning...we were so unpretty :)
when i told her about the blog, she smiled and nodded. she was very sick by this time, and i'm not sure if she knew what i was talking about...but, part of me realizes now that was not the important part; the important part was that i was able to briefly remind of her of our little, private inside joke.
i love you amy.
