On Friday at around 5 p.m., I was struck by the usual end of the week boredom & distracted by a lot of noise coming from across the office. So, I wandered across to Unusual's desk to see what was going on. To my surprise, I saw that she was being either entertained with Beanorama's crazy Lord of the Dance-esque leg flailing, singing & tambourine playing or tortured by Lord of the Dance -esque leg flailing, singing & tambourine playing. I quickly discovered through Unusual's expression that it was latter. Turns out that Beanorama and another conspirator had discovered that Unusual absolutely, positively detests Christmas carols.
This is something that I can totally relate to. I can't speak for Unusual & why she dislikes holly, jolly Christmas carols; but I can explain my own Grinch-like attitude towards holiday music. See, after spending more than 5 years in retail I have had to tolerate listening to Christmas songs from Black Friday to Christmas Eve. However, they weren't just your basic or classic Christmas songs sung by Frank Sinatra or something, they were Christmas songs sung by the latest pop singer or boyband. You know, a "Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera Christmas" or an "N'Sync Christmas". Every year, Santa Baby ( an already suggestive song) has to get skanked up by the latest, skankiest female singer around. I had to listen to this music from the store opening at some ungodly hour, to being asked for the thousandth time for the crazy stripe sweater, to mindlessly folding sweaters after the daily pillaging. By the time December 26th came around, I couldn't wait for the soundtrack to change over. One year, after Christmas Eve midnight Mass on the drive home, my family turned on the radio for Christmas music. I angrily snapped at my mom to change the station because I was on the verge of pulling my hair out. At that point, I was seen as the Grinch because I didn't want to hear Christmas music on Christmas day. I tried explaining that I was just f--- exhausted of the crap, but my plea fell on deaf ears.
Since I've stopped working in retail, I've slowly begun to enjoy Christmas songs again. However, this year I'm back to hating them all over again. It started a few weekends ago when I was out running the typical Saturday errands ( grocery shopping/ clothes shopping/ lunch at a fastfood place). Over the course of 3 stores in one afternoon, every store I went to had some f--- up Christmas song playing way too long & too loud. At Wendy's, it was a Christina Aquilera duet with Michael Buble. Since Christina oversings everything, I barely heard Michael Buble. At Shoprite, it was Christina singing a solo. At Ross, it was Christina AGAIN and Mariah Carey. Some songs are remixed/modernized so much, I can't even recognize what song it's supposed to be (have you seen the latest JCPenney commercial?). By the end of the afternoon, I was through.
So, if retail stores & radio stations would just play basic Christmas carols instead of bastardized crap, I would probably be full of holiday cheer. But, since that's not the case, Bah-Humbug!
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2 comments:
Here, here! I HEART Christmas carols. But I HATE when they are cheesed up by Mariah and Whitney. Please. I don't need to hear about chestnuts roasting in all 8 octaves. My mom and I get so pissed.
best line:
"Every year, Santa Baby has to get skanked up by the latest, skankiest female singer around"
oh, and if those two little elves ever try singing and dancing to xmas music in my office again, there are going to be two dead little elves stuffed in my trash can.
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