Yesterday I posted the two honorable mentions of the top three loseriest Christmas songs that I secretly adore. Well, my sister, ekumpon, called me out on the #1 loseriest one, Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg. Here's how this gem starts:Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods...
[the word "frozen foods" in a romance dramedy Christmas song doesn't fly. I'm supposed to be thinking about Baby Jesus laying in a manger, and all I can picture is Ore Ida Pre-Cut French Fries.]
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried...
[You laughed until cried? Was it really that funny?]
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car
[Real responsible, Dan. Drinking and driving-- in the snow, no less.]
She said she'd married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have liked to say she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie
[Of course she's in an unhappy marriage. Of course! But her husband is a good man.]
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned in to rain...
Amen, sister.
5 comments:
wow-that was the worst song ever. def no comparison to JT's "It's My Dick In a Box"
I love Dan Fogelberg. I actually own this CD. For other fantastic stylings by DF, you should listen to "Leader of the Band."
My favorite cheesy Christmas song: "Mary did you know" by some guy I never heard of but for some reason it was always performed at my high school
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Did you know
That your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
That your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that youve delivered
Will soon deliver you
If I met my ex in a grocery store on Christmas eve, I certainly wouldn't make it seem as though I had no where else to be. I would pretend that I had a huge raging party at home and just had to run out to grab some more food...no way would I sit in my car and share a beer.
that's hilarious. or maybe you have a pooping baby at home you need to attend to.
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